Tuesday, November 9, 2021

Accountability Sub

People keep asking about accountability buddies, so I had a thought to create an accountability sub. I'd like to cap it at 20 people because the larger it gets, the harder it is to get to know people have it successfully function as an accountability group. Here's my story so you can decide if you want to be part of this accountability sub. Sorry it's long... I'm long winded.

34F SW328 CW291 GW180ish

I started gaining weight when I was 7 and hit a peak at 298.6 when I was 22. I spent the next year losing weight and got down to 186. I maintained that weight for about 2 years before I started putting it back on. I'm not sure what my highest was that time, but I steadily worked to lose that weight again. I wasn't tracking... so I also don't know what my low was, but I was wearing a US size 10/12. I again maintained for about two years before I started putting the weight back on. Cue the pandemic, and I ended up heavier than I had ever been in my life. Maintenance was hard for me because I kept thinking that if I could just get the weight off, I could be "normal." I didn't realize that my definition of "normal," which included eating out with friends and not having to cook on my own, wasn't realistic. The past two times I lost weight I carb cycled and it worked really well for me. I'm now planning to do this for the rest of my life. I know eventually I'll need to modify it a bit, but carb cycling works for me, so why fix it if it's not broken? :)

So, food = carb cycling. I meal plan on Saturdays and meal prep on Sunday/Monday/Tuesday. I weight train at a local gym 4-5x a week and do 30-40 minutes of cardio on my own 2-4x a week. I am also learning to listen to my body. This means that sometimes I add extra carbs on a low carb day or remove carbs on a high carb day. Some days (like today) I recognize that my body is TIRED and needs a break, so I skip cardio. Saturdays are my cheat days and these cheat days are IMPERATIVE for me. If I crave something during the week, I'll get it on my cheat day. I also allow myself to socially eat with friends on Saturday. On any other day I either won't go out or I'm incredibly careful about what I eat.

My current struggles are:

  • Not eating enough and not eating often enough. I'm taking phentermine and because of it I straight up forget to eat. Even when I remember, I just don't want to spend the time getting food ready, so I procrastinate it. This means that some days my calories are in the 500-1,000 range and that is far too low for me.
  • Not seeing my body change. I'm 40 lbs down and I want to see changes... or at least notice that my clothes fit different. But that isn't happening. I know I'm getting stronger because I have to increase weights at the gym, but I want to SEE it.
  • Finding balance. I tend to focus on just one thing and give it my all. Right now, weight loss/getting healthy is that one thing, but it means I'm neglecting other areas of my life. I need to find that balance... I just don't WANT to.
  • Lack of patience. I'm a few pounds away from being at my previous high and I'm losing weight slower this time, so this is going to be like a 2 year journey for me before I start my maintenance journey. I know losing the weight slowly is more likely to create permanent changes... but I just want to get there NOW.
  • Dreading the extra skin. I didn't have extra skin last time... part of that is because I never got low enough, and part is that my skin had more elasticity then. It's not just the money that it would take to remove it, but it's also the recovery time. Like this almost makes me not want to lose the weight... but I REALLY want to be able to do all the things I could do before (hiking, backpacking, canyoneering, sky diving, cycling, etc...).

That's me! If you are actively losing weight, want to find accountability buddies, and will be active in a subreddit, please let me know so I can add you.

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