Next week (on my birthday) will be exactly 2 years since I started managing my ED with diet and fitness. Today, my BMI is healthy. F[28] 5’2” SW: 186 CW: 135 GW: 123

TW: eating disorders

I really just need to tell someone who isn’t my mom or friends who are sick of hearing about it lol. I have been battling disordered eating since childhood, and have always been considered chubby or fat. I leaned out when I was 15, but started gaining rapidly when I started college. I decided to start losing after I realized my knees were starting to hurt, my bad cholesterol was on the high side of normal and I couldn’t do certain things on roller skates (I played competitive roller derby at the time). I also reckoned with the fact that my genetics were out to get me unless I changed my life (both parents and all grandparents were diabetic, parents have high blood pressure, both parents are overweight).

With the help of my sister, who was studying to become a registered dietician at the time, I made a plan. I cut slowly and started running. 1700 calories at first, then tapered down as my weight dropped. I tracked my food, water, exercise and sleep meticulously. I also committed to therapy once a week and met with my sister once a week to talk about my diet.

I didn’t eat “healthy” foods, I just focused on not binging. When I did binge, I identified triggers and made plans to cope with them. I took pictures to monitor progress. I limited my marijuana consumption as it triggered binges. I started eating slower and making better choices. I took up journaling and started dancing.

All of these changes were the result of small steps over a long period of time. I didn’t start off doing it all. I was slow, steady and consistent. My sister tells me “your body is the sum of all of your days, good and bad. If you’re consistently on target, it’s okay to have bad days”. She is absolutely right.

What I’m trying to say is permanent change happens over time. Slow and steady wins the race. You WILL have bad days. You WILL see the scale move in the opposite directions, despite cutting all week. You WILL lose your patience. You WILL make mistakes. Never give up. The biggest cause of weight loss failure is giving up. Be your own hype man. Have your own back and know that your consistency will pay off. Stay stubborn, and you will reach your goal.

You got this.

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