Monday, September 5, 2022

Caught between anti-dieting and anti-fatness

So. The basic best research says diets don’t work. Science finds that intentional weight loss basically can’t be maintained. That only a fraction of a fraction of people who set out to lose weight manage to keep it off. Moreover, the overwhelming majority of people who lose weight put it back on with extra pounds on top (weight cycling, or the dreaded “yo-yo dieting” effect). All kinds of diet experts, after lifelong work and research, have decided that dieting is harmful and they should be working to eradicate anti-fatness.

But. Living in a fat body is suuuper stigmatized, and tbh I hate it. I can work against anti-fatness in my life and in my head, but I haven’t found a way to resign myself to being fat.

I’m tracking what I eat and eating less than my tdee, and prioritizing protein and fibre so that I feel satisfied. Lots of vegetables for nutrients. Sugary and starchy foods leave me binge-prone levels of hungry, so I’m minimizing how much I eat them. I’m moving more because it helps me be healthy and feel good in this body.

But I can’t shake the desperate anxious feeling that although I’m trying to lose weight healthfully, I’m doing something counterproductive and will just make myself fatter. I’ve weight cycled more or less all my life, or at least since puberty, and though I’ve had long periods of maintenance, things like getting sick or having life traumas end up leading to weight gain, higher and higher.

I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, or a better perspective, or just commiseration. I think I’m secretly hoping for a way out—a way for the scientists to be wrong, or for myself to be some rare exception.

I believe in science, but the thought that my weight loss efforts are futile or counterproductive makes me frustrated and sad.

submitted by /u/EdnaMillion
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