Things that have Surprised Me on My Weight Loss Journey

I recently hit my goal weight, and am shocked by the things I have learnt along this way. Here is a list:

• I will always have things I dislike about my body, at any weight. Even at a skinnier weight, I do not have a "model" body. My breasts are tiny and a bit saggy now, my stomach is still not flat. I still look like I have poor posture due to scoliosis. I can see why being confident in your body is a mental shift, because we are all imperfect, and it's about embracing it.

• It really is a journey, and I cannot guarantee how my body will look in the future. Part of the things that keep me in track is that I live alone right now, and that I have the free time to exercise. I do prioritize some things over my weight loss journey - I eat extra chocolate when I'm feeling down, skip a workout class if I have a lot of work, or eat more than usual if I'm out with friends. I'm not sure that I will always be in a place to maintain this weight, and hopefully that will be okay!

• It has been really hard when clothes that I love don't fit anymore. When I buy clothes, I realized I am placing a bet on the future - that I will wear my clothes for X amount of times, on Y occasions. It has been really hard letting go of that idea, especially when I know I would have kept wearing those items more if I hadn't lost weight. I thought about tailoring some things, but it's about the overall shape of the clothes, and so, I have to let it go.

• Along similar lines, buying new clothes is not simply about buying things you love in a smaller size. I had a pair of joggers that I practically lived in, and I always thought I would rebuy them when they don't fit anymore. I tried on the smaller size in store, and guess what? The crotch was too tight and the shape was wrong. When I buy clothes, I have to remind myself to ask whether it looks good now, or if I am holding onto the idea of what it should look like.

• One last clothing thought: things that I never thought would look good on me now do! I learnt to not hold on to absolutes, like X would never work, or I would always like Y, because when it comes to clothing, we simply just don't know these things. Side note: this makes online shopping impossible now, because I don't know my size in anything unfortunately.

• It feels good to have accomplished something that I never thought I would! The simple fact that I did something hard makes me feel confident, and that is something that I underrated.

• I really like having an activity that I can invite people to join me in. I've been doing a lot of fitness classes, and I liked the idea of having people know they can always join me for those. It's a low stakes way to hang out and get to know people, I don't have to make socializing the main thing, and even if we don't end up clicking, at least we did something fun together.

• I feel a lot better about doing activities with friends! I don't have to fear that I can't do things physically. If people want to try something active, I can just go for it, without worrying that they would judge me for not being able to do it.

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