I’m not sure how to even explain this. I’ve heard people talk about it before when I was morbidly obese but it seemed ridiculous and didn’t make sense to me at the time. I guess I kinda just thought like how could you feel worse when you look amazing? When you’ve accomplished so much?
I’ve lost a good amount of weight, I’m approaching my goal still but I look in the mirror and see more flaws than ever before. I was always 5’0 around 170-190 and even though that is very overweight for my height, I felt relatively good about myself. I felt sexy and pretty. I knew I was a big girl but I almost didn’t mind. It wasn’t until I gained another 50 pounds that I felt really bad and started my weight loss journey.
I’m well below 170 now. I thought I would be much prouder, feel much better about how I look, but I don’t. I feel like I might not ever feel happy about my weight. I keep thinking once I reach my goal I’ll feel much better because I’ll be in a normal BMI, but I’m not sure.
Maybe It’s my circumstances, maybe it’s just the place my head is in currently, but I am miserable about my weight more than ever. Maybe it’s just cause it’s on my mind a lot more now. I don’t know. I am in counseling, so I will sort it out. I’m just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? I don’t mean for this to come off as like “poor me I’ve lost weight”, I’m just perplexed as to why I’m feeling so bad.
Other people have told me just look at how far you’ve come. It’s a process. It takes time. But I can’t help but just staring at my stomach and thinking the worst. Do I just need to get over myself or is this common?
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