History: I've battled with my weight since I was 11 years old. I graduated high school at 195 lbs, but got down to 150 lbs in my early 20s due to partying/dancing. I started gaining the weight back when I met my husband, leading to an array of fad diets (some of which worked and some didn't.) This led to binge eating disorder that I dealt with for 3 years (stopped in 2015, thanks to Brain Over Binge), resulting in a weight gain that left me at 242 lbs.
Then I found this subreddit in June of 2017, made a plan to eat between 1400-1500 calories a day and start walking. In one year I lost 57 lbs, bringing me down to 185. I took up running as well. I couldn't get over how fricken easy it was to lose this weight. People would ask me how I did it and I'd tell them it was just calorie counting and walking. Three of my friends actually listened to what I told them and ended up on their own weight loss journeys, which were successful, and they credited me for inspiring them. I would visit this sub all the time and read stories from people doing well and also those who were struggling, and I was so overconfident that I'd never end up struggling because it had been easy so far.
Well.... that didn't go how I thought it would.
Last summer I kinda started to relax with my calories more, indulging more, enjoying a few more beers that were outside of my calories. I was still running 5Ks and walking, but I was eating enough to compensate and ended up just kind of maintaining through the summer. But that was ok, I'll get back into it over the winter. ....Yeah that didn't happen either. I actually found myself trying to track calories but lying on MFP and not counting anything I overate. I began to experiment with cutting carbs and OMAD, basically trying different 'diets'. Of course, then came the food cravings. Restricting food groups is not my jam! The first year I didn't struggle with cravings at all, but by January of this year I really started to crave things and overeat. Not quite binge eating, but sort of the same attitude towards food that led me there (I won't get a chance to eat this again, so I better have it now, etc). My weight held between 185 - 190 thankfully.
So basically this past year has been a series of recommitting and failing, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get past it. My weight went up to 195 briefly, and sits around 191 right now. I'm still exercising regularly, but seem to lack complete self control around my food cravings. I came very close to binge eating yesterday out of frustration that I feel like I'll never get to my goal, and I'm so scared to undo all the work I've done. I've had a year of involuntary maintenance and I'm ready to move on and lose the rest of the weight but I just can't seem to get in the right mindset. If you would have asked me a year and a half ago, I never ever would have imagined I'd be struggling so badly right now.
How can I get the discipline to finish this? Have any of you struggled this way before? Is there anything I can do, or tell myself to keep going? It seems simple and crazy to me that all I have to do is stick to my calories, but I can't fricken seem to do it!
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2IXhf1m
No comments:
Post a Comment