Now that I've gotten healthy (-55 lbs + added muscle) I feel good about myself/health/looks. I got fat in college and unfat after. Maybe this is all just a part of transitioning, but there's some new thoughts I can't shake (ordered by personal importance):
- Old pictures of myself gross me out and make me feel really bad.
- I get weirded out when people say "you're looking thin."
- I'm not interested in answering people's questions about how I did it, because I doubt they're going to understand (2 yrs of nightly fasted hill runs on weed lol).
- I'm not used to the way my body looks now: my hands, feet, and especially my face in the mirror. It's all improvements, but my body still surprises me.
- My soft belly / slight looseish skin annoy me a litlte more than they should.
- I like to exercise when I feel anxious or sad, which is sort of emotionally confusing.
- A date didn't believe I could have ever been fat until I showed her a picture. This messed with my head a little.
I don't validate myself through how others percieve me, so it's been a very personal journey. I'm delighted and satisfied with the results of my extended efforts, but I think I've acquired some body dysmorphic thoughts post-weight loss. In my head, weight loss is something that I never should have needed. Any time someone compliments me I'm forced to acknowledge past self and feel bad. And now that I'm caring/thinking about myself more, it's hard not to be critical of my past and current self. My past self doesn't exist, so what I think about it isn't very important, but it would be cool if I could get over it and be completely happy with success and people acknowledging my efforts. Really overall I'm doing fine, and these thoughts are more annoying than troubling to me.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2XNiUwO
No comments:
Post a Comment