My weight loss journey began 2.5 years ago. In Jan. '17, I weighed in at 187; in July '17, I weighed in 140. I would coast from about 141-146, until January of this year, when I reached my lowest weight in 12 years (139). I maintained my weight by hitting the gym pretty hard 5x/wk. I've been proud of myself, buying new clothes that fit (we all know how good that feels!), and I even started modeling and acting. That's when my SO walked into the picture.
We became official at the end of February this year. Ironically, around that time, shit started hitting the fan: I got pretty sick with a respiratory issue; I was given a 60 day eviction notice; I began a 40-hour training program (at a trade school) on top of working part time. As a result, I stopped going to the gym, began eating out a lot, and gained almost 20 lbs. I've yo-yoed with my weight my whole life, but this particular time hit me extremely hard: I can hardly wear any of my clothes that I worked so hard to wear. My SO is a loving person, and said he hardly noticed any changes to my body at that time, and even prefers me at my current size. While I appreciate that, it doesn't negate the fact that I'm definitely not staying at this size (he's very okay with that).
My SO hasn't been hyper-dedicated to working out right now due to depression. In fact, it seems like I gained the 20 lbs. he lost. He's naturally tall and thin (fuck me, right?) and really needs/wants to put on weight. Now that I've gotten back into meal prep again, it's been very challenging to meet our nutritional needs: It seems like I'm the only one who has the drive to cook and has the energy to do so. The same can be said about going to the gym.
I feel so defeated, exhausted, and lost. I have no excuses for what I did, and I don't blame my SO for having depression. I'm lucky to have someone who can appreciate me at any size, but being in a solid meal prep/workout routine is non-negotiable for me. I don't know how to be dedicated to the rituals while those kind of things aren't nearly as important to my SO as they are to me.
If anyone has any insight on how to move through difficult situations like this with your SO; going through this struggle completely alone; or even how to keep positive after gaining weight you worked so hard to lose...it's much needed and appreciated right now. The only thing keeping me going is that pant sizes and depression aren't permanent if you want them to be.
Thanks, r/loseit.
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