I had one of those moments where I looked down and SAW myself accurately.

Okay, so let me start off by explaining that I have body dysmorphia outside of the very common weight loss induced dysmorphia. It's obviously very difficult for some people to have lost a large amount of weight to adjust their entire perspective of themselves, but I also think that sometimes I don't even resemble a human. It's hard but I've been working on it and started Wellbutrin - for some unknown reason it has also helps some people with body dysmorphia.

Anyways. I went to the doctor's last week because I had been sick with a cold for 3wks that turned into a secondary infection requiring antibiotics and some super tasty (/sarcasm) Prednisone.

I walked into the exam room and the nurse went to grab a cuff to take my blood pressure. Her hand immediately went for the small adult cuff, which does fit well, but I was shocked because I the past people go straight for the big one to use with me.

I said, "wow, thank you, no one ever tries the smaller one first." She looked at me funny, so I added, "because I'm plus sized, I mean."

Raising her eyebrows she responded, "Girl. The first thing I think when I look at you isn't plus size. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that if you're taking care of yourself, are happy, and have your levels within a good range."

I just. Was so shocked. I went home, kept looking at myself, couldn't see what she saw.

But then it happened. Last night, sitting on my couch with my legs stretched out, working on my laptop, I looked down and realized how much LESS there was of me between my chest and where my laptop rested on my thighs. There was so much more room, and to be honest, I don't think I could have sat that way in the past.

I'm still 30-50lbs to goal, depending on what my goal actually is, but I have still hit milestone after milestone and last night, I recognized myself for it.

Just wanted to share, in case there are people like me, that struggle to see the differences in themselves!

💚💜🖤

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