Really struggling with body image issues lately

Hi all! I’m not entirely sure why I’m posting here. I guess I’m just looking to vent and maybe see how other people dealt with similar issues.

So I started my weight loss journey in May, and I’ve lost 35 pounds so far. I’m so proud of myself and I’m really starting to see a difference! I still have a long way to go though, as my goal weight is ~100 pounds away. I’ve been very self conscious about my body for as long as I can remember, even when I was 50 pounds lighter than my current weight. I don’t wear shorts or dresses ever, and I won’t wear tank tops and just generally try to cover myself up as much as possible. While I’ve gained a little bit of confidence with the weight I’ve lost, I still cover up as much as possible.

I’ve recently gotten romantically involved with a guy, which is new for me. The past few years I’ve been single and gone on maybe a handful of dates, but I had just kind of stopped pursuing relationships or any sort of intimacy. I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now, and it just kind of happened on accident. He’s really great and hasn’t given me any reason to feel self conscious around him. The thing is he is in really good shape and is just pretty conventionally attractive in general. So I should be feeling great about this! But for some reason, my head keeps going to this place where I think “there must be something wrong with him. If he’s attracted to me, surely he’s desperate because he can’t get someone thinner”. Which is really stupid logic, because I’ve seen his exes, and they were thin and attractive.

I’m frustrated with myself because I see how messed up it is that I can’t fathom someone being attracted to me the way that I am without there being some major flaw with the person. I feel like I have imposter syndrome, like I don’t belong with someone who is in better shape than I am (even though I definitely have a healthier lifestyle than him currently). I really need to work on liking myself more, because as proud as I am of my progress, I still am so self conscious.

Have any of you guys dealt with feeling this way? Is there anything that helped you to feel less insecure? Right now I feel like I won’t be comfortable until I’m much closer to my goal weight, but I don’t want to feel like I HAVE to be there to be good enough.

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