Monday, May 24, 2021

After a 100+ Lb weight loss, am I being shallow?

I used to be 205 lbs at 5'2". I decided to dedicate my 2020 to weight loss. The pandemic helped, and I stepped on the scale to see me today at 105. I never thought I'd make it this far, Though in height im petite, I wanted to be as lean as a model like Bella Hadid and I achieved this (in a healthy BMI).

Now here's where I feel shallow. I've been back to dating and using dating apps. Before on these apps and in my dating life, I was the 2nd option girl. Treated worse than the gum on the sidewalk. It hurt, but because I didn't want to be alone, I took it.

Well now, It feels like men are falling head over heels for me. I love this. My mental attitude has not changed, but I couldn't be a 2nd option if I insisted. And men want to actually take me out right away too!! Not make me a back up option or their ultimate shame to bring to mom.

I love this, I feel like I am on a power trip to judge which men are "worthy" of my time, and actually date (as in go on dates, not in a relationship context) multiple people at one time, I've got options, and no clinging on to the only man who will give me a date or worry what he will think when I get out of the Uber.

Is it bad to be this way? I do feel shallow a bit but It's such a new world. I want to be romanced, and treated well. I was the mcdonalds date before, and couldn't ask for better because their was none, so thats why ive felt this way.

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