I've been severely depressed and overweight my entire life. Since I moved out of my parents' house 4 years ago I've eaten fast food 3+ times a week every week, and even before then I was eating nothing but carbs and fat all the time. I don't have the mental or physical energy to cook and I don't have the money to buy anything good anyway. Every once and a while my partner and I can splurge to cook a steak or pork loin for dinner but most of the time it's pasta, fast food, or just eating cereal or chips or whatever because it feels too difficult to even boil a pot of water. I have severe food aversions (not diagnosed with ARFID as I've never discussed it with a doctor but I fit most of the diagnostic criteria that don't involve weight loss) and I have never successfully been able to eat a vegetable not completely hidden in cheese and butter without throwing up. I don't get any exercise at all either. I have intense health anxiety so I get into spirals where I overthink how much damage has been already done to my body and it feels like it's too late to do anything about it.
I'm almost 30. I'm over 100 pounds overweight and while I don't have any known physical health issues outside of that (not diabetic, blood pressure normal, I do have mild fatty liver, I've had scans and blood tests done for chronic pain problems and there's nothing notably physically wrong with me) my mental health completely controls my life. I don't know where to even begin. It feels as though every single aspect of my life is going in the wrong direction and if I can't change everything at once there's no point in trying.
Sorry for this sadsack rant. I did spend $80 on a year-long subscription to an exercise program but I just haven't had the spoons to start it. The only things I ate today were 2 soft pretzel sticks from Sonic, a soda, and a salted chocolate bar with a glass of milk. I want to change. I guess I'm just looking for one small thing that I can start doing immediately that feels like it's a step forward, and I can go from there.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3HtJP7Y
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