( Obligatory disclaimer: I, now, do understand weight loss is 90% calorie deficit and 10% exercise. )
TL;DR — Lost 70kg / 154lb three years ago. Gained them back. Starting again. Afraid the body is "rejecting" to lose weight. Losing the motivation.
Four years ago this week I was weighing 165kg / 364lbs, and I decided I've had enough. I checked into a CrossFit box and a dietist, and over the following 12 months I lost 70kg / 154lbs. I arrived at 95kg / 209lbs and life was great again — I could basically do everything. Even if I couldn't do some more extreme stuff I saw other people doing, just being able to sit on a chair without the fear of it breaking was awesome. Freedom. Problem is I wasn't really counting calories, and I didn't really understand how weight loss worked. I just followed a dietary plan too strictly, and exercised like crazy 7 days a week. I also didn't think of it as a lifestyle change, but as a one-year journey. Still, it seemed to be working.
During the following 12 months I got overconfident in my weight loss abilities. I gained 10kg / 22lbs back. I still wanted to lose more, so I started to get a little frustrated. I started to go less frequently to the CrossFit box — it seemed to not be working after all — and especially I started indulging again. Then COVID struck, as well as a divorce and some other personal and work issues, and I basically let myself go and welcomed back almost all the weight I had lost. Back to 160kg / 353lbs.
About a month ago I decided again I've had enough. I want to get back to those sweet 95kg, or close to them. I checked into the dietist once again, and since don't have the time to go to the gym or the CrossFit box I decided to build an home gym — I got an assault bike, a squat stand, barbell and weights. With the home gym up and running, for the past 5 weeks I've been exercising 5 days a week and tracking calories in MyFitnessPal. My calorie intake is between 1500cal and 1750cal every day.
During these 5 weeks I lost 8kg, which sounds good. However, this last week was particularly challenging:
- Mid-week I gained one kilogram out of nowhere (probably water retention, but still);
- The weight seems to be oscillating and stuck between 151kg and 152kg for the past three days;
- I don't have cravings, but my brain is constantly asking me for more food (bigger amounts).
Now I am probably over-reacting, I'll accept that, but I am afraid that because I did the same journey in the past, my body might have somehow gotten used to caloric deficit and exercise and is now refusing to let go of the freaking weight this time around. Is that even a thing? How do I keep motivated seeing the progress stalling and knowing that I love to eat and hate exercising?
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