27F 5'7 SW: 240 CW:199.8 UGW:160
I just hit Onederland this morning (199.8 counts, right?) and wanted to make a post. This has been my goal for forty pounds/seven months, and I'm finally here! I am incredibly proud of myself for setting this goal and achieving it. Weight loss for me has been part of a bigger journey of self improvement and making my life better. I had to make huge changes for it to happen, but I'm glad I did them. I will explain.
How I gained weight:
Three years ago, I moved states for a job, and I liked the job, but I didn't know anyone there and combined with covid WFH, I became very isolated and depressed. I was working hard during the day and giving it my all, and at the end of the day I would "reward" myself with food and alcohol. I didn't cook at all. I ate out every single meal. Portions were large and I never felt full so sometimes I would order two (already large) portions. I felt burned out from work and life and was on antidepressants. I drank probably every day. It felt like every day was a cycle of burning out and then "recovering" with excessive food and alcohol. I never left my house. I had angry red stretchmarks on my stomach and arms. My clothes didn't fit. I gained 80 lbs over two years.
I was miserable with work and life and something had to change.
How I lost weight:
After resisting for years, I went to therapy. Why did I resist? I didn't think I needed it, I didn't think I had real problems or trauma, I didn't think they would tell me anything I didn't already know. It turned out to be pivotal and immensely helpful. I had problems I didn't know I had (mostly involving my parents) and the main takeaway was that I am an adult and have the power and freedom to create the life that I want.
With my therapist's encouragement I made major life changes.
I had savings, and was able to quit work for three months and moved from the midwest to pacific northwest (where a lot of my friends live.) Threw all my shit in a uhaul, put my pets in the front seat and drove for four straight days cross country. It was honestly a great feeling, like I knew I was making a real change. Moving ended my isolation, and I see my friends at least once a week - something I hadn't done for years. My new place doesn't have a yard, but is very beautiful and walkable, so I am more active with taking my dog out three times a day.
I started cooking at home. I didn't have the slightest idea how to cook, so I used meal delivery kits. The fact that they are already portioned out was so helpful. The fact I was on a tighter budget and couldn't eat out every day helped keep me on track too.
I stopped drinking. It was hard at first, I would want a drink sometimes, but after a few weeks I found that I didn't even want to drink at all. It helps that weed is legal where I live - and is cheaper and lower calorie than alcohol haha. Even with weed, I probably only use once a week instead of every day like before. I find I enjoy being sober most of the time now.
I was able to get off antidepressants. I don't know if this helps weight loss - some say it might?
I went back to work after three months but did not push myself as hard. I am actually a remote contractor now for the same company I used to work for, but now I make my own hours and work a little less. I make a little less money but my quality of life is better. I am less stressed which gives me more energy at the end of the day to focus on myself. It ended the "burning out/reward" cycle I had going before.
What I've noticed:
Not going to lie, I mostly wanted to lose weight in order to be more conventionally attractive. But I'm surprised that the weight loss has been more noticeable in the way that I feel than the way that I look. I remember being out of breath constantly, feeling like my neck fat was always choking me and making it difficult to breathe. I don't feel those things any more. I often walk with my dog for a mile with no problem - sometimes I think about how difficult it would be to wear a 40 lb backpack and do the same thing.
As to how I look - it's hard to judge because (I'm sure this is relatable) I did not look at myself in the mirror and avoided having pictures taken of me at my highest weight. I don't have much reference to compare my current self to. What I do know is that my old clothes that I couldn't even get on my body now fit very comfortably.
My weight loss journey involved pretty drastic life changes that won't work for everyone. But I am thankful I did them, have no regrets, and wanted to share in case it helps anyone else. I really feel, for me, in order to lose weight I had to completely change the way I was living. Sometimes you have to just get out of the situation that is making you miserable. And if you're scared, my therapist's wonderful advice is "People dumber than you have figured it out."
All that being said, I am only halfway to my ultimate goal. But I think these are truly lifestyle changes - I don't even feel like I am really "trying" to lose weight, I am just living life and the weight is coming off. I may end up having to incorporate more exercise as I get lower, when weight will start coming off slower. But right now I feel like I am in a good place.
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