31F / 165cm (5’4) / SW: 65kg (143lb) CW: 58kg (127lb) GW: 55kg (121lb)
Hey everyone, just seeking support/advice/your own experiences.
I started my journey last year in October, just doing CICO and light exercise (walking/hiking mostly) and it has worked really well in dropping weight. I’ve hit goal weight a few times but generally hover in the 56 - 58kg range (that’s doing my head in as well but more on that later).
I don’t know if it’s because I lost weight while still in a ‘normal’ BMI range (is it a bigger impact if you are going down from a larger weight?) but I’ve been really underwhelmed by the whole thing.
I also want to say that I have been a normal weight all of my life and no one (apart from my parents who are of Asian descent and I’m sure a lot of people could relate) has ever commented on my weight negatively, I’m not sure if this is also contributing to my experience.
I definitely look better for sure and people have noticed that but I just feel so disappointed. I think in my head I thought I would look like a supermodel when I got down to goal weight but I still just look like me and I’m disappointed.
I kind of hate also the pressure to not look ‘skinny fat’ (which I think I am) because I really don’t want to get into the gym or anything like that. I know this sounds so superficial but like god can I just be skinny and pretty and not have to start running or lifting? I have to confess that I did lose weight for looks mostly and I think I may have had unrealistic expectations, ESPECIALLY as somebody who has never struggled with weight or eating through their life - I guess I thought there’d be a bigger difference once I started ‘trying’. I have struggled with my looks all my life though and I think it’s contributing to the disappointment that even doing a big thing like losing weight seems to make no difference.
That’s the other thing - I have always been able to eat whatever I want, unrestricted, and have never struggled with that until I decided to lose weight and now I’m just feeling like maybe it would be worth it to pack it back on because I love eating so much and being mindful about it has been great for weight loss but the end result just doesn’t seem that worth it to me.
The struggle to get to my GW and sometimes hitting it only to not be able to maintain has also been frustrating. I hate that I am 58kg right now despite not eating exorbitantly. I weigh and track everything.
Anyone gone through the same thing or has any advice? Thanks for your thoughts.
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