Friday, August 19, 2022

He just doesn’t get it

Feeling very frustrated right now. I’ve had a summer of bad eating where I gained back 5 of the 10 lbs I’ve lost since last year. The bad eating habits were bc of my summer internship and since that’s over now, I’ve been trying to get back on track. But I’ve been staying at other people’s houses which has affected the amount of control I have on the foods around me and the past two days especially have just been not great for good habits.

I expressed this to my partner. I’ve talked to him about my weight loss journey before but usually by the time I talk to him about it, I’ve already developed a plan. But I was just feeling so bummed that I couldn’t think of a plan and wanted some help thinking of a goal. An easy short term goal that I’d be very likely to be successful at so that I could have a win.

And then he suggested buying a food from my “no buy” list to keep in the house and just not open to work on self control. And idk generally how this suggestion would be viewed, but frankly it’s an idiotic suggestion based on all the things I’ve talked to him about.

I agree that having a no buy list is not a great long term solution. But I’ve talked to him in the past and explained that for my habits right now, keeping certain foods in the house is not setting me up for success. Long term, I’d like to be able to keep anything in the house, but I’m not there yet.

So in what world is buying something from the list an easy short term goal that I’m likely to be successful with? So I flipped out a bit bc it was just such a dumb suggestion, but then I hurt his feelings (and he was trying to help) but was he really trying to help? I understand that different people are different. He’s the type of person who can buy Nutella, keep it in front of him, and just not eat it. He has a “just do it” mentality. And that’s fine for him. But we have talked repeatedly about how that’s not me. And so I feel like he has just ignored or discredited everything I’ve ever said to him about my eating habits because how could he possibly have thought this was a good idea for me?

Am I being unfair? Am I just lashing out bc I know that I do lack self control with food? I don’t know, I just know that I’m so frustrated and I feel like I can’t go to him for help bc it was just such an unhelpful suggestion.

What do I do? I’m sad and frustrated and I know I can do better but there’s also this layer of communicating with my partner.

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