I see so many post on this subreddit from people obsessing on their daily calorie intake goals. I fell into this same trap for most of my weigh loss journey, and realized very recently that for the general population, this might not be providing a realistic lifestyle/mindset.
Let me start by saying that it is extremely important, for those that do track calories, to be aware and set goals for daily calorie intake. I have a personal goal of being in a deficit of 500 kcals (this includes calories "allowed from exercise), but I am learning that instead of focusing on the daily number and looking at the entire week, I am saving myself some anguish and mental capacity.
If my goal is to lose a pound a week, that roughly equals 3500 kcals in a deficit for that week to obtain (huge generalization). 3500 divided by 7 is 500. 500 calories a day then, in a deficit, for 7 days. That seems like a massive amount to restrict on a daily basis for a lot of people (myself included). I would then obsess over what I ate, often being miserable and not allowing myself the occasional joy of moderate calorie intake. I would not allow myself to eat ice-cream when my wife and daughters went out for a family date. I would not eat out with them on our Friday Family outing unless I found something at home that fit into my -500 calorie deficit. I would not allow myself to experience and enjoy life.
So when the time came that I allowed myself to indulge on the small things, I instantly would regret it because now I wasn't 500 calories in a deficit, I was only 300, and so on. I would then push myself harder to burn those calories to get myself back on track, often over exerting myself or taking valuable time away from my family so I could crank out another workout.
Yes, it becomes an unhealthy obsession for some of us. I didn't want to live like this and continue my weight loss being miserable. So I made a simple change. I allowed myself to loosen my DAILY calorie restriction, and instead focus on the weekly goal instead. If my goal is 3500 calories, then so be it, but some days I'm going to allow myself to eat a burger. What I noticed is that on the days I go to the gym (4 days a week for me), I naturally started doing workouts that burned more calories as I progressed in my fitness journey. At the end of the week. I was still averaging my calorie deficit goal (+/- 200 calories), but I was allowing myself some wiggle room to enjoy the daily experiences.
This might seem like an experience that's only tailored to a few individuals, and maybe it is. But I sincerely hope that for those of us who are creating an unhealthy habit when it comes to restricting calories, that you find what works for you in terms of your mental health. This small, net 0 change has helped immensely. I don't feel as weak at the gym when I allow myself to listen to my body and eat above me calorie deficit, and this allows me to push harder, lift heavier, and burn more calories in return. And most of all, it's allowed me to realize that losing weight doesn't have to be so restrictive if I am able to find alternative solutions that keep the progress moving.
Now, let me be clear. Having a daily calorie goal (whether surplus or deficit) is still EXTREMELY important for most people. It keeps us accountable, and provides a path that if we generally stick with, we'll land where we want to be. My post is not to take away from that fact. My post is to remind people that it's a goal, not a line in the sand. Forgive yourself and make sure that you allow yourself the occasional treat. Focus on the big picture, for me that was the weekly goal, compared to the minute-to-minute decisions.
I still have my own personal goals (lose another 15 lbs, be at 15% body fat, be able to rep 4 plates at deadlift), but I remind myself that they are the end result, not the journey. I'm happy with the progress I've made, and I hope that this recent change I have made will continue to yield results. I hope that everyone can be a little kinder to themselves, and make sure to keep perspective.
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