Hi, loseit community. I began my weight loss journey in December 2022 after a horrible experience. I realized I never wanted to feel the way I’d felt and decided to make a change at my heaviest of 270lbs. Fast forward to June 2023, I was down to 233lbs, working out consistently 3-4 times a week, eating cleaner, eating everything I wanted in moderation, and feeling much better about myself.
Then, things slowed down. I graduated and began studying for the bar exam, which meant I was no longer doing the light movement of going to school, walking in my commutes, etc. And weight loss stopped. For a few months, I was still proud of myself for maintaining — sure, the scale wasn’t going down, but I’d learned enough habits that I was able to maintain my weight. After I gave the bar, I hopped back on the journey and went down to 225 lbs. I felt so happy. This wasn’t like all the times before where a setback or a pause would derail me completely; I could take a break, maintain, and get back on it.
Then, I started work. And things have begun to nosedive. I began eating out more, caring less about what I was eating. Even when I try to stop, I always end up ordering something and binging. I don’t cook, and it’s difficult to find time to learn. Over the years, I have conditioned myself to think of takeout as a necessary expense, so even the thought of pouring money down the drain doesn’t affect me. It’s a disaster. I find it hard to build time in my schedule to go to the gym. I find it hard to drink water. All the habits I built have, for the past 4 months, crumbled around me. I kept telling myself I’m still maintaining but today I stepped on the scale and it was at 234. I know some of it’s water weight, but I am terrified.
It took me so long to break my habits and try to build new ones. It took so much effort, and I am terrified I don’t have it in me to push myself more. I am starting again, but this voice in the back of my head keeps saying, “It’s over. You broke it, and now you’ll be back to your heaviest soon.” It’s so hard to keep a positive mindset when I feel so defeated and disappointed in myself.
I’ve been a long time lurker here and have found immense solace in this community despite never participating. You’re all incredible people who are doing something that most people don’t understand the difficulty of. Any wise words or thoughts as I begin again would be so appreciated.
Thank you, and happy holidays.
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