My gf has, on occasion, opened up about how she wants to be healthier, lose weight, etc. I say "on occasion" not because it's something she doesn't care about, but because it's really hard for her to be vulnerable about those things as she already has such a shame- and guilt-oriented mind. She also has ADHD (diagnosed & medicated) so that makes this even more challenging for her.
We're both excited to get to a point where we can get married and have kids, but because I know how she feels about her body and her desire to be more fit and healthier (and of course my desire for that for both of us), I'd like to really make good progress together before we have kids. I'm sure pregnancy itself takes a massive toll on a woman's body, along with everything else new parents have to deal with, so in my mind healthy habits really should be in place before getting pregnant, because it only gets harder to find the time and energy for healthy eating and exercise. I also don't want her to become unhealthy when pregnant due to her weight, so going into the pregnancy from a healthy spot would be great. I really love her and want to do the work now so we can both be healthy and happy for each other and for our future kids.
I'd like to bring this up with her and talk about it more, especially in the context of our plans to have kids, but I know how hard it is for her to discuss these things because of how much shame she feels around it. I'm looking for advice from people who are/were in her position, and trying to get an idea of how you would want your partner to talk about this with you.
We go to the gym together (albeit inconsistently). I try to lift in the morning, and then after work we go to the gym for 20 minutes of cardio (me on the bike, her walking on the treadmill). I know that exercise != weight loss, but it's easier for her to focus on being "healthier" rather than "losing weight", so I try my best to encourage her, even when the robot part of my brain is screaming "this isn't the best way to do it!" Me and her have very different brains, hence this post asking for advice from people who relate to her more.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/aPkE6XB
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