I incorrectly assumed that losing weight would be a magic bullet to loving myself and my body. I, much like many high schoolers and high school girls in particular, spent my high school years thinking I was fat. I was athletically built, 125-135 pounds (as I got taller) on a 5’8 frame. I was very healthy, but I used to and continue to have body dysmorphia issues.
As I got older and stopped participating in sports, I put on weight, causing myself to feel even more dysmorphic. I adopted unhealthy eating habits to cope, and it turned into a cycle of mental hurt and pain associated weight gain. I couldn’t fathom anyone valuing me if I wasn’t a size 0.
I am doing much better now, and I am down 10 pounds, but I have to remind myself to accept who I am where I am at, and tell myself I am no less of a person just because I still have weight to lose. One side of me says “Wow! Look how far you’ve come!” and the other side says “Yeah but look at how your stomach giggles.”
I am realizing for myself that weight loss is just as much a mental journey as it is a physical one, and I just thought I’d mention the more mental side as I don’t see it talked about often. For those that need the reminder, you are valid whatever your size, wherever you are in your journey. I say this because I need the reminder too.
Take care of yourselves, your mental health is just as important as your physical health :).
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