Hi folks- I've been away for a couple years now, but it is time to get back to work. I started 2016 weighing in at 250lbs, and over the course of the year got down to 160lbs. Through counting calories and exercise, I was the healthiest and most in-shape I had been in my entire life. 2017 and 2018 I focused on eating (mostly) well, and more than anything running.. a lot. A dozen half-marathons, one full marathon, a couple team relay events, and of course the training associated with those kept me in relatively good shape. I was able to keep my weight in the 170's most of the time. Well, last year, my running habit began to taper off, and I fell back into my old habits of eating far too much, occasional binge eating, and drinking heavy beer multiple nights a week. The last 6 weeks have been the worst. Like everyone else, I've been under tremendous stress with the current pandemic and the questionable future of my job. I've used the entire situation as an excuse to eat garbage, drink far too much, and be an absolute lazy slob in general. In less than 2 months alone, I've ballooned more than 15lbs. My clothes don't fit anymore. My resting heart rate is elevated. My motivation level is bottomed out. I find myself craving sugar and simple carbs all the time. Luckily I'm isolated at my house, because I'm embarrassed to be seen by my friends and family. Even my laptop's facial recognition (set up when I was 30+lbs lighter) is struggling to recognize my bloated face.
Quite simply, I'm rapidly approaching my rock bottom, again. I once told myself that I would never again be over 200lbs. Well, I stepped on the scale today, and I'd blown that limit away. My immediate reaction was to go to the kitchen and "ease" the disappointment with food. However, I stopped myself because I know that these feelings of low self-worth are one of my triggers to binge.
And just like that, I stopped digging. I drank a quart of water, put on some running clothes, and went out and hammered out a few miles around town. I pulled up my old "weight loss plan" chart and updated it with my new numbers and projected weights. I put together a meal plan and wrote a list of things to get when I make the next trip to the grocery store. And, finally, I came here to confess that I'd abandoned you all, but am back with some hard lessons learned. I missed the accountability this community provided for me, and I look forward to checking in daily and participating in challenges.
Thank you all
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