Friday, April 24, 2020

I won’t let myself lose weight but it’s all I think about

I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life, having been raised in an obese family. I never learned to eat the right foods and I’ve never felt comfortable with who I am. I let my weight devalue all other qualities about myself. I’m not good enough for any of the things I want in life because I can’t do this one simple job of losing weight. It’s all I think about. I research weight loss techniques in all my free time or I look at fit girls I wish I looked like. I know how simple it is to lose weight. Create a caloric deficit and do some exercise. I enjoy a few kinds of exercise but I’m actually too stubborn to do the things I know I should do to lose weight. If I stick to a balanced diet I self-sabotage by binging when I’m not hungry and tell myself it’s fine, I don’t really care that much. If I finally manage to force myself to exercise I stop half way through and tell myself that was enough even if I was enjoying it. I want to be better but I can’t control myself. I am so sick of living this way. Any psychologists out there able to explain this???

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