Saturday, April 25, 2020

My first post, documenting my journey and looking for a pep talk.

I have always been relatively thin for most of my life. I gained about 60 lbs in the last 5ish years. And although, most people tell me that I do not need to lose weight, I know that, in my current state I need to lose a few. I will get older and with age, will come weight gain.

https://postimg.cc/sGrWGXT8

(I’m not sure if I’m doing this correctly, I can never figure out which link is the correct link.)

I am currently the most ive ever weighed, and I got here from binge snacking and eating without limits. I would get super stoned, and eat and eat and eat. At the time, it was fine because I was 108 lbs, unhealthy thin and felt I could do it and it would be fine. But then 4 years later... I’ve been around 155-160 for the last year and just sort of managed to stop it before I completely derailed and got to a point where it would be more difficult to lose weight. And for the last year I just maintained, but never actively tried to lose he weight nor did I manage my eating properly or take weight loss seriously. I would always have bouts of a few weeks where I would get serious into working out and fitness then after a month I get burned out because I’m not losing weight fast enough. But I want this time to be different.

For the last 2 weeks, I’ve been working out regularly and monitoring my eating. Less junk, no binge eating, eating more veggies, and I can already feel/see a significant change in my body. My boyfriend said he noticed a difference. He held me and said my body felt different already. Lol. I’ve been doing yoga nearly every day. My biggest problem though, is the healthy food and the working out seems to be wrecking my stomach. I’m vegan but like, whatever I’m eating/doing is making me nauseous. This last week, I’ve had more belly aches and... Um... less solid bowl movements/lots of uh well, tmi, but diarrhea, lots of that this last week in particular. The DOMS I get in my abdomen makes me so nauseous and then eating less seems to also make me nauseous! I don’t know if this is a common symptom or not but it’s definitely making it a bit more difficult to work out daily like I want to.

I bought a dance pole, a yoga mat, we have a stationary bike which I got a new seat for because my sit bones HURT on the current one, we have a foam roller, tension bands of all shapes and sizes. I have everything I need to work out regularly I just need the motivation to keep at it for longer than a month. And I need motivation to push through the aches. I just want to be a size 5 again.

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