stats: CW 284, SW 325, GW 150
well, tonight.
I've been really feeling low last few months about my weight loss situation. back in sept 2020 I got a gastric ballon with which I lost 30lbs. since the ballon (only 4 months long), I have gained and lost, gained and lost, gained and lost non-stop. most recently I had gotten to 280 after sooooooooo long of being stuck on 288 only to gained back 4lbs the last 2 weeks. I had a 3 month long period which F-ed up my progress/mental health/determination and discipline and I have struggled with binging and making myself sick. not the mention the lingering low self esteem, negative thoughts about my body and lack of self motivation to do the hard work to lose weight. and most recently I got super sick which completely took me off track. for some reason I have REALLY set some HIGH goals for myself this month and nothing went to plan AT ALL. I missed work, I missed work outs and I ate a shit ton of junk/take aways. "failing" this months plan really threw me off track mentally.
I come here often. I see the amazing 100lbs+ losses, I see the meal plans/pics, the positives vibes, and all I do is come here and post about hard everything is, how difficult I am finding it and how terrible this process has been going for me. which - to be real - hasn't been untrue but it also hasn't been helpful to me.
I only recently got a job and have been wanting to restart counselling for the longest time. I finally can do that now. I am hoping and praying for the strength, determination, discipline and consistency to now make moves toward my goal weight. I am on the mini pill now which has stopped the period issues (temp solution till I get out of the morbidly obese category), after a lot of agonising and crying about calorie counting I have decided to settle on 1500-1600 cals (even though I truly hate doing it with a passion but I know it works), resolved to work out 5-6 days a week, starting counselling tonight to talk through some shit and now that I have some money (finally) I need to get out of the house as much as possible cos being inside all day is slowly driving me insane.
I don't know if any of the above sounded positive lol, but it is meant to be. my point is, I feel like I have been focusing SO MUCH on the negatives of weight loss, I turned it into a chore. but it isn't a chore. it is a benefit in life to be able to have the ability to wake up and work on me for me, to better me (my health). I want to focus on the wins and not the losses. I want to wake up with energy again, not overthink so much and just keep losing this weight. so please, wish me luck <3
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3tgaEEk
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