it's probably just me being guilty it's taking me months to get past the 10 pound weight loss (technically 5 pound since i keep losing and gaining 5 pounds)
today i decided fuck it, i will let myself be fat for a day. i will order pizza and then tomorrow i will continue doing good. and i fully intend to do that, it's a friday and tomorrow i have plenty have better options to have. it isnt the end of the world.
no. i cant even have that. the one time i decide "i might as well let myself enjoy it and then move forward instead of fucking up for a week" i see a video of miku and am reminded of what i could be but keep deciding not to. i feel like such a failure. miku is what i would want to look like but at this rate i'll never ever get there because i keep eating shitty food.
for a brief period of time (like 1 month at the very most) i used to throw up whenever i felt guilty about what i ate but it went from relieving to just a pain in the ass so i stopped. idk i just regret ordering the pizza and wish i would have just had something else. it wasnt even that good. i think what i need to do is throw out the rest and make sure i will stay accountable. that way i wont be tempted and i can once again try to stay on track. im tired of feeling like im getting something done only to eat a lot one day and then be reminded of where i could be if i stopped fucking around. :(
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/AlNkfr8
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