Saturday, April 30, 2022

I was complimented by a neighbor on my weight loss while out on my walk this morning

SW: 265 CW: 240 GW: 185

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A little backstory first: My wife of 13 years left me a month ago for someone I considered one of my best friends. This was absolutely devastating as I thought we had a happy marriage, and she refused to give us a chance to work on it. This sent me spiraling for the first week or so, and led to me losing about 12 pounds from just not being able to eat.

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As I started processing my feelings and everything happening around me, I decided I would make the best of this shitty situation. With my appetite being very low to nonexistent for the first couple weeks, I used that to transition to healthier eating. I didn't care what food was tasting like at that point, so why not? As that was easy to do, I incorporated a daily walk into my routine. I found a route in my neighborhood that would came out to 1.5 miles, and quickly started doing that route twice each day to hit 3 miles.

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So now with all of that, I have gone from 265 pounds to 240 (was 295 at my heaviest about 4 years ago). I know the progress is there in the scale. I was wearing 3X shirts, but I've actually picked up some 2X shirts that fit really well. So I know it's there, but it's difficult to see in the mirror each day. I don't let it discourage me or anything, but I spend a good amount of time alone now so it's not like I have a ton of social interaction for me to get a different perspective (although I am actively working on being more social with my friends).

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This morning I went out for my usual daily walk, and in my neighborhood everyone does a polite wave or whatever when walking/running/driving by each other. I don't really know many people though outside of those right around me. I'm early on in my walk, and this SUV starts slowing down and rolls down their windows. I take out my earbuds and she tells me what a great job she thinks I'm doing. She said she's seen me out every day, and can see how much weight I'm losing. I was absolutely stunned especially since I was wearing my 3X Deftones hoodie that doesn't do me any favors, but keeps me warm on brisk mornings.

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All I could really do was stand there and just keep telling her thank you for all her kind words. I had to hold in a small breakdown where I spill everything I'm going through and just how much her stopping and saying these things to me really means. My journey is far from over as I would ideally like to hit 185 pounds, but I can't emphasize how much that brief 90 second interaction motivated me to keep it up. Not just for my kids. Not just to stick it to my soon to be ex-wife and my former friend. But for me. I've been fat my whole life, and I am already down to my weight I was at in middle school. I know it won't always be easy, but knowing that others are watching will help me continue to hold myself accountable.

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TL;DR Life as I knew it was shattered. I'm making a better one. Someone I don't really know noticed and it made me happy.

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