The following is a summary of the progress I’ve made in the past 3-4 months in terms of weight loss. For context, I am 21 years old currently 339 pounds and I have been fat my entire life. I don’t get into too many specifics of what I’ve done for my dieting or exercising, but I’d be happy to do so for anyone interested. This is mostly a quick spill of my thoughts on where I’m at currently. I tend to jump around in my thoughts but I hope you all can understand it and find something to take away or relate to.
I started what I consider to be my true weight loss journey about two months ago. I never actually weighed myself out of fear and embarrassment of the number I would have to keep in my head, but I’ve concluded that before I got serious about losing weight I likely was between 350 and 360 pounds. For the last couple of years, I had already begun trying to change my diet through various means. I mainly tried intermittent fasting as well as simply cutting out all drinks that were not water. Snacking and Binging were something I was attempting to get under control as well. Ultimately I would only be able to keep up with these changes for a couple of months at a time before I would eventually slip up and let myself have that one soda or bag of chips that would turn into a seemingly unstoppable binge. Finally, after the holidays(2021), I decided to start taking my health more seriously than I had been before.
When I was in high school I remember thinking that I would eventually get my weight under control when I got older. I was essentially leaving all the work up to my future self for reasons I'm still not sure of. So there I was 21 years old, some 360ish pounds feeling real sorry for myself. I started realizing that I had no one else to blame but myself and I began to take action once again by cutting as much unhealthy food from my diet as I could while also trying my best to avoid binge eating. It was going ok at best, I started to notice myself fitting in my clothes better but I started to feel the need to go harder. The progress was somewhat noticeable but I was unsatisfied nonetheless, until one day I got together with a family member to acquire a gym membership. I’d always enjoyed lifting weights and being active in general even as big as I was, but I believe a part of me was afraid of the ridicule that I thought would come from my family. Thankfully they were supportive, though I still felt a sense of doubt in their voices when I talked to them about it. At first, it hurt me to hear the tone in my family's voices when I would talk to them about my goals regarding my health, but I soon realized that they had no reason to believe I would stick to it. Instead of letting their doubt get me down, I decided to view it as motivation to prove them wrong.
I am someone that decides to go 100% into whatever it is that I want to do. In the past, this has hurt me, particularly with dieting. Going to the gym was a little different, I told myself that I would go 2-3 days a week to get started and gradually work my way up to avoid burning myself out. Not even two weeks later I found myself going 4-5 times a week. After about three weeks I did start to feel some signs of burnout but they subsided and I kept at it. I started to develop the mindset of going to the gym because I had to rather than because I wanted to. I decided to do this to avoid having issues with motivation, and also to help overcome issues with anxiety.
Fast Forward about two months later and here I am. I am physically the strongest I have ever been while also being the most disciplined I have been in some time. My weight at the moment is 339 pounds so I still have a long way to go. I am not set on any particular number as I don't know what my “natural” weight would be, but I can’t wait to see the day I break 300 and 250. My ultimate goal is to simply look and feel good for the first time in my life. I am excited to continue this journey at full speed and for once I believe in my ability to see it through.
I want to also add that while I feel I am headed in the right direction, it is not without bumps in the road. I still occasionally eat more than I should and I don’t eat as healthily as I should either. I believe it will be a constant struggle for me in that regard for the foreseeable future, but as I said I have more hope than I have ever had and I don’t plan on letting that go to waste.
To all of you reading this that may struggle in the same ways that I do, I want to encourage you to keep pushing forward even if only a little. Our time on this planet is finite, and I believe that we should strive to spend this time doing whatever makes us feel fulfilled. If you have concluded that your weight is a part of what is keeping you from reaching this fulfillment, I highly encourage you to make the change. I am rooting for you and I believe that you can do it. I hope that we can all succeed together in time so that we can enjoy our lives to the fullest.
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