Saturday, February 19, 2022

After months of struggling with Binge Eating, I am finally losing weight again!

25M 5'11 SW 352 CW 179 GW 165

I will leave a TLDR at the bottom bc this is a bit lengthy.

I went from 352lbs down to 182 lbs in my first year of dieting! In the following 3 months I gained and lost the same 5 lbs over and over and over due to binge eating. I am so close to my goal weight of 165 so this has been hard for me to deal with.

In the first 7-8 months, it was easy for me being in a massive calorie deficit, my sheer determination and will power to restrict calories was huge let me tell you. I actually enjoyed the feeling of an empty stomach, and feeling my stomach rumble lol it sounds weird ik. The weight just melted off. But then I started feeling hungrier and hungrier. I started needing more and more "cheat days" and the cheat days turned from a couple thousand extra calories, to a few thousand and so on. Then i started needing multiple cheat days every week. My weight loss slowed further and further. Until eventually it halted. From November to February I had a net loss of zero lbs. And I didn't realized I was developing a binge eating disorder.

November to February: I would Heavily restrict my calories as usual (1500 calories a day) then by the end of the week I couldn't take it, and would binge eat anywhere from 3,000 to 5,000 calories a couple or even a few days in a row. I would see weight gain on the scale, get freaked out and scared to gain weight back, get really determined, and begin heavily restricting again. Rinse and repeat. The guilt i would feel after binge eating made me feel so horrible about myself. It actually started giving me anxiety and I couldn't stop thinking about food and dieting. I felt trapped in a way. Those who binge can relate I'm sure. When I binged, the feeling was just awful. I felt so insatiable just in full starving mode. Like a zombie craving flesh.

I lost my weight by massively cutting, it's all i knew, all I thought would work for me. Slower weight loss sounded scary because 1 of my binges could easily ruin a full week's progress... 3 weeks ago I decided I would trust in those ridiculously insane ppl who are ok with the idea of losing ONLY 1 lb a week (lol.) So I started eating at a much smaller deficit. I'm thinking my deficit is somewhere between 400-500 calories. It's hard to figure these things out precisely but I have lost nearly 3 lbs in the last few weeks. I am 179 lbs (lowest I've ever been since probably middle school) and I am happy to say the bingeing behaviors are completely gone! I do have moments where I'm a bit hungry sure, (after all, I'm still in a deficit) but it's not agonizing, not even close to the miserable feeling I used to feel. And some nights I do go to bed feeling very mildly hungry, more like minor cravings. But I feel comfort in the fact that I can now eat a proper sized meal when I wake up :) Sometimes I'm not hungry at all. Which is new for me XD Food is no longer ALWAYS on mind I can eat more of the foods I enjoy. I have been making sure to hit my protein goal, then eat whatever i want to fill out the rest of my calories. It's amazing. My body feels the best it's ever felt, I have had more energy, my sleep has even improved, my weightlifting sessions I feel like I can go harder. Since I don't binge anymore I never have to deal with significant bloating and looking 30 lbs heavier the next day! And I GET TO EAT. Omg I get to freaking eat! I'm an absolute idiot for not eating at a more sustainable deficit. It's not a race. And I will reach my goal weight before I know it!

TLDR: Eating at a big calorie deficit worked for me for a good while but eventually caused me to begin binge eating pretty severely. I stopped making any weight loss progress because of it. I am now eating at a much smaller deficit and the weight loss has resumed! I feel incredible!

I am excited to get this off my chest because I've been struggling with it so much physically and mentally! And I've finally overcome it!

submitted by /u/KDeadshot
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