Not sure if this is the right subreddit for this but it relates to weight, fitness, and body positivity issues.
I (32F) am currently at my heaviest weight (240 lb). No excuses, I just haven’t been prioritizing my health and it caught up to me. I am confident that I can lose the excess weight as I have done it before. But to be honest, at this particular time, I am more concerned with focusing on my mental health (I have been struggling with depression and ptsd and some days struggle even get out of bed) than the weight loss.
That is all background info: the issue is that my mom, who is extremely fit, tends to body shame me. She bullies me into doing physical activities (hiking, biking, etc) with her and then gets irritated with me when I can’t keep up with her. Even besides the difference in fitness, she’s about a foot taller than me so even at my fittest, I could never keep up with her. The last time I went hiking with her, she literally abandoned me on the side of a mountain and just took off. Afterwards, she is always self righteous about it—‘if I don’t like being left behind I should be fitter and so I don’t have a right to be upset about it.’
To be clear, when I am on my own or with other people who go my speed, I genuinely like hiking/biking/etc. I just don’t enjoy the side of humiliation.
Now, we are planning an upcoming trip to visit with my sister. I requested that instead of the suggested bike ride, we go to a museum or stroll around a botanical garden etc—I offered several such activities and my sister and I were able to come up with a variety of fun things that we could all do. My mom was pissed that I nixed the bike ride plan. She tried to guilt me into going saying that my sister and brother in law really wanted to go and would be disappointed (I don’t think they were). She accused me of thinking the world revolves around me. I explained that it’s frustrating for both of us when we go at different speeds so let’s just do something else. Then she started with the “just because you aren’t fit enough to do—“ and I hung up on her.
I am not really looking for advice tbh, especially not of the “throw the whole mother out” variety. I just wanted a place to vent hopefully to some sympathetic ears.
TLDR—my fit mom shames me when I can’t keep up and shames me when I try to avoid the situation
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/rZSlybX
No comments:
Post a Comment