Yeah, so this is not great news. I've been denying the truth for about a month now, but my friends and family have been calling me over the week because I talk to them a lot about my eating habits and weight loss stuff. They're telling me it sounds like I have an intermittent? binge eating problem and man. I just feel defeated. I wanted to get healthy, but seems like I'm doing this all wrong. Of course, I am not taking this as an official diagnosis, but I kind of see why they're concerned.
The usual pattern is me sticking to a rough calorie deficit 1300-1500 cal/day, light exercise from walking around at work, hitting a new low weight, then eating 3000 - 5000 cal/day for the 3-4 days afterwards, and then lowering calorie count again. I previously did OMAD (stopped recently) and I was afraid of eating dinners with my family and stuff.
Apparently my mood really depends day by day on how much I eat (like if I went over calorie count I will feel gross). Today I came home and just started shoving food into my mouth. I wasn't hungry. IDK.
I know the right move is to not fast for 36 hours or something. I need to get back to a state where I only eat when I am truly hungry, and to make sure I have a protein and a fat source in 1 morning drink/2 meals. I think some small steps I will take starting tomorrow are: portion control. Set a time limit for a meal and no grazing/snacking. and the 1 morning drink (coffee + protein shake) and two meals. I really want my relationship with food to improve
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