In 2022 I lost sixty pounds and got to my lowest weight of 148. (5’9 f)I felt amazing- and then around January I stopped weighing myself and tracking. I guess I figured my maintenance calories were pretty high (I run, hike, or walk daily 20k steps) and I didn’t need to watch myself like a hawk. I also was exhausted and depleted from dieting. Lo and behold I step on the scale this morning and I’m 170. To say I’m devastated would be an understatement. I know the only thing I can do is buckle down and get back in the weight loss routine but I feel unbelievably sad, ashamed, disgusted. I want to say “I don’t know how this happened, how could I have gained weight, I’m a runner, I intermittent fast, never eat out at restaurants, i skip dessert, etc etc etc” but I know those are just excuses. The scale doesn’t lie- I guess my tdee is lower than I assumed, or I’ve been eating a lot more.
I feel deep shame, guilt, and sadness almost like I’m grieving. I’m disgusted with how I look and can’t even look at my own reflection in the mirror. The contrast between how I feel about my body right now and how I felt at my low weight is hard to think about. I don’t know how to bear these emotions while also getting back into discipline with my food intake.
I guess what I’m asking is: Any advice from people who lost weight, then backslid and restarted? Any advice to bear the negative emotions that come with gaining the weight back?
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