First off, I’m going to apologize in advance because the following text is most likely going to be pretty long, and it’s going to take a bit of reading before it ties into weight loss, but I promise you that it will! The Ex always told me that I was good at writing, and I’m feeling nice and chatty, so I thought why not give it a shot again? With that said, here we go….
I promised space anomalies in the title, so we’ll launch right into them! In the 1990’s some scientists came up with this idea that there might be these cosmic strings that were created right after the Big Bang. My grasp on the science is pretty loose, but essentially these strings would be so thin that they would be invisible to the naked eye, but they would also have an insanely strong effect on gravity, to the point that a 1km loop of cosmic string would be more massive than the Earth. A science fiction author that I really like came up with the idea that if enough cosmic string could be looped together, it would be enough to tear spacetime and create a void in reality.
You’re probably wondering what any of this has to do with weight loss, and why I just wasted a paragraph explaining it. Well, to me the idea of a Ring (of cosmic strong) large enough to start ripping wholes in existence seems like an apt metaphor for my general wellness. Specifically, things that make me sad, or unhealthy, or just make me feel bad in general were like little pieces of cosmic string that got knotted into my own, personal, Ring. And as my Ring grew, the risk of the everything tearing and a void forming grew. And sometimes something good would happen and my Ring would be a little less massive, and that void would be farther away. And sometimes my Ring hit a critical mass, and a void would form. Losing my grandmother caused a pretty massive void, and it took quite a while to unknot enough string to make that particular void disappear. During my first year of law school the stress, usually coupled with generous amounts of alcohol, also tended to lead to some minor voids. And then there was the incident 6 weeks ago.
6 weeks ago I got dumped. As the Ex went through the motions (and the clichés, good God there were lots of clichés) of the breakup, I could just feel those strings knotting and my Ring growing, and that potential void looming, and I decided that I wasn’t going to let a void form this time. I was going to control myself and act like a grownup for once in my life. And with that in mind, I made the incredibly bright decision to go hang out with a friend and get extremely drunk before passing out on a couch at 3AM. Turns out being an adult is actually pretty hard. But the next day came and I rediscovered this article that I adore where the author discussed how he had used his own heartbreak as a motivation to lose weight. As i reread that article I kept thinking: “Huh, Cattch22, you can do that.
And that was the motivation for me to start exercising and eating better. I cut out soda and the vast majority of the alcohol. I corralled my love of pizza to a treat that I allowed myself to enjoy once every other week. I started counting calories. I replaced naps with walks, and then I replaced walks with runs. And as the pounds started to fall off, and my stomach stopped growling all the time, and the headaches stopped coming, and my legs stopped burning all the time; I came to an epiphany. Just about every physical aspect of my body and my health was tied to a string, and many of those strings had been knotted into my Ring. As I exercised and started to control myself, I could slowly but steadily unknot pieces of string from my Ring. And even more vitally, I could use my newfound control as a weapon to fight back that ever-threatening void. If something reminded me of the Ex I didn’t HAVE to mope; I could run. A bad day at the office? Start doing squats, Cattch22!! Picking knots through smart choices has kind of become this weird little hobby, and it honestly has paid off more than I can adequately (or eloquently) put into words. I look better. I feel better. My doctor tells me that I am better. And through it all, it’s become this driving force that motivates me to consistently make better choices, and to always strive to be a better person.
And even now, as I’m typing this, I’m realizing that maybe having a Ring isn’t burden, but a blessing. It’s not an anchor holding me down, but a counterweight that I can use to maintain a balanced and stable life. So, as my small piece of advice for all of you out there on your own weight loss journeys and with your own Rings: learn to love having your own beautifully unique and complex Ring, learn to love picking those knots, and learn to run.
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