Hi! I've heard a lot about this sub, but this is the first day I've ever actually looked into it. I've been somewhat in denial about my need/want to lose weight, though deep down I've been feeling like I need to for a while now. My stats: F/17/ 5'6"/ SW: 169/ GW: 135
I know I'm fairly young compared to a lot of people I've seen on this sub, but I want to be confident and healthy again before I go off to college and start living on my own. My first issue with weight started when I was quite young and I got mono. I was sick for seven months, and even as a child, ended up gaining quite a bit of weight that's stuck with me up until I was around 15.
That year, I entered an abusive friendship and as a result, would have ~3 hour panic attacks every day (note that I was diagnosed with general and social anxiety as a 10 year old and I've been in therapy and on medication since, so I'm doing okay now) that caused me to lose around 30 pounds in the course of two months without trying. I wasn't in shape, but I looked good, and after exiting that friendship, I was confident in the way I looked for the first time ever.
During that period, I was able to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and stay in the realm of ~135 pounds. As I got better emotionally, I started to gain back the weight though, and I convinced myself that I would just lose it again sometime easily, as my weight tends to fluctuate rather quickly. But I had no such luck. I was healing mentally and was still pretty confident, but I kept gaining weight.
The heaviest I had been before my unexpected weight loss was around 155 pounds as a 12-14 year old, and I hated it then. My weight has always been something I've very rarely been happy with, and as a result, I've always had a rocky relationship with food. I've quite often fallen victim to the vicious cycle of trying to restrict calories, getting frustrated, and binging junk.
The past 4 days or so I've been trying to exercise every day and eat relatively healthy and reclaim the confidence I had two years ago, but this time in a healthy way. Even now, I'm not completely unhappy with myself, I probably like myself more than I have in a long time, but I want to get to the point where I can smile looking in the mirror or at a picture of myself again.
Clearly I've also got some mental stuff in play, but as I work on that, I also want to work on my body and get in shape. I've downloaded MyFitnessPal as recommended by a number of people on this sub that I've seen, but I was hoping others could give me some advice at the start of my healthy weight loss journey. I've bought myself a gym membership and I try to go every other day, and try to do some alternative exercise like dance or swimming on the off days.
It's scary for me to post something like this, but I'm excited to reclaim my confidence, form a healthy relationship with food, and get in shape!
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