Last night, my (now ex) bf said it's difficult to be attracted to me because of my size...it only makes me want to work harder.

28F/5'9/CW: 239. GW:170. My apologies, it's a long post.

The last year and a half has been a roller coaster for me in terms of my health and my personal life. In June 2018, I was diagnosed with T2 diabetes at an A1C of 16. This came after I had lost 40 lbs in about 3 months due to how high my blood sugar was - I thought I was living a healthy life for that weight loss to happen, but I was not healthy. I had to be put on insulin and medication right away.

In July of that year, I met my (now ex) bf (29M) through mutual friends. He was (and is) going through his own weight loss journey. He met me when I was a lower weight and newly diagnosed. I did not hide my health struggles from him.

With the diagnosis, i began to work hard on my health. By January 2019, my A1C dropped just over 50%, bringing it to 7.9. (As of June, it is 7.5). I no longer needed to be on insulin, but just on one medication. At the same time, I had gained about 20 pounds in the process, since my body was getting back to running on a lower blood sugar. It did not matter, however, I wanted to pursue some fitness goals. I signed up for my first 10K and completed it in May. Right after, I signed up for my first half marathon, happening this October. He said that he was supportive of me in through all of this.

Cut to last night (NSFW).

I was at his apartment and we had sex, but he did not orgasm (He always has had some trouble in this area) and was being quiet. I asked him what is wrong and, eventually, he admitted that he is finding it difficult to be attracted to me because of my size, thinking that is why he is not able to orgasm easily. He has been feeling this way for at least a month.

I am really hurt by that, especially since it's only when I asked that he told me. He kept saying that he is sorry and that he was a horrible person for feeling this way. After talking this through, I decided to end the relationship. I did not turn to comfort food after, like I tend to do. I had a good cry and some tea.

This morning, I am more motivated than ever to reach my goals and to be healthier. With my A1C coming down and my half marathon in a few months, I am going to work hard on getting fitter and losing this weight in a healthy way. It doesn't matter what he thinks or what anyone else thinks, I am going to do right for me.

TL;DR: Last year, diagnosed with severe T2 diabetes, making me lose 40 lbs in 3 months. Ex-bf met me a month after diagnosis. As my A1C is going lower, I gained 20 lbs in the course of year, but have completed 10k and now training for half marathon. Ex bf told me he is not attracted to me due to my size. Broke up with him, going to kick ass for myself.

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