Do I need a tldr for a list of bullet points?
- -September 2018
•start of my senior year
•I weigh 300 lbs at 6 ft (highest I’ve ever weighed was 330.)
•I have lots of classes with this girl I like
•she’s out of my league
•she flirts with me
•I ask her out
•she says yes
•first relationship I’ve ever had so I decide to put effort into losing weight for the sake of our relationship. First time I was ever booming with confidence. Took weight more seriously than ever.
•things are great for like two months
•I’m running on an elliptical and eating right
•happier than I’ve ever been
- January 2019
• I weigh 280 (lowest I’ve weighed since 8th grade)
• Girl began to distance herself in November
•she was having problems with mental health
•regularly taking out her problems on me
(Background time-My mom was an abusive alcoholic. Physically and verbally. Now she’s just an alcoholic)
•Girl knows about my destructive homelife and uses that to take advantage of me the same ways my mom did. •Even after we stopped dating, she’d still mess with me.
•during this time I’m still working out daily and eating right. Still really motivated.
• My lowest weight in past couple of years is 270
-February 2019
•she’s finally gotten to me
•driving me to falling into old binging habits
•im working out less and less
•she stops talking to me all together
•even though she was evil and manipulative, she was my only friend at the time.
•I gain all of the weight back over time
-June 2019/July 2019
•I’ve been working at a movie theater for about 6 months
•really nice co-workers, I hit it off with all of them
•they become the closest thing I have had to friends since my ex.
•People genuinely told me they looked forward to working with me
•built up a reputation for being some type of clown or workplace comic
•in July I end up quitting
•my mother is on a mean streak and the money I make from work is paying for her booze
•I stay in contact with co-workers
•one in particular, was this girl that was really sweat.
•her and I began talking everyday
•I even came to see a movie (where we worked) and we ended up talking in the parking lot after her shift from 11 pm to 3 am. (Genuine conversation)
•we just joke and talk about our bad ex’s
•after this night I feel a genuine connection and I begin working out again. (Sparingly but still)
-this week
•I’ve been pretty depressed back and fourth
•still talking to that girl, but I get the impression she doesn’t like me
•we make plans three times to hang out
•she cancels because of good reasons each time, but nonetheless it’s disheartening
•I go to a party with her and a group of her friend (They really took me in as their own)
•Talking at the party she mentions she has off the next day
•later I bring up the movie “Midsommar” she says she wants to see it. So do I
•I tell her I’m seeing it the next day and I ask her “do you have off tomorrow?”
•she lies and says no, but then realizes we all know she has off.
•she backtracks and says she doesn’t want to spend her day off seeing a movie.(understandable she works there)
•next day I text her at 7:30 saying I’m planning on seeing Midsommar at 9:30 and I asked if she’d like to come with.
•she says yeah
•I feel really energized so I work out on the elliptical
•I feel like dying afterwords, borderline cardiac arrest
•I feel really confident and I make plans to buy my own dinner to make at home after the movie. Something healthy.
- -movie theater at 9:00
•I talk to my old co-workers
•they’re excited to see me
•I talk to them and we all have a good time
•it gets to 9:30 and I decide to wait in the movie for my friend who hasn’t arrived
•9:55 roles around and she’s still not here
•I assume she stood me up
•I assume right
•she texts me apologizing saying she just tried taking a nap and overslept.
•I’m not mad at her at all because she’s very nice she wouldn’t do this kind of thing on purpose
•nonetheless im still really sad
•I go to Walmart buy a shit ton of garbage food and binge till I get sick
•I go on reddit
•post on r/loseit
•not even looking for weight loss advice at this point, just someone to talk to.
•post is probably against the guidelines because of its lack of weight talk
•feels real bad man
Real bad.
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