Long story short, I gained a bunch of weight during quarantine and have been trying to desperately lose it. I’m a 26F and I’m so embarrassed to admit this, but…I weigh nearly 270 pounds. I’m short too so it’s not like I can hide it. I don’t drink soda, alcohol, or sugary coffees. Rarely do I eat out— in fact, my diet is very boring & my portions are small. No snacking either—I thought exercise + fine-tuning my diet would work, but nope.
I hit the gym for an hour 3-5 times a week, and recently, I was very proud of being able to run for 9 minutes on the treadmill without stopping! I’m able to fit into clothes I could barely squeeze into before; my face is way less bloated, and my family & friends have commented on my “weight loss”. So I figured what the heck, let me weigh myself to see how much I’ve lost!
Guys….
I haven’t been able to stop crying. The damn scale read “265” and it’s such a huge blow to my self esteem. I’ve stopped binge eating. I exercise regularly now. I drink water like a fish. The biggest culprit I can think of is stress and medicine to manage my depression, but even so, I don’t think that’s sufficient evidence. My doctor has tested me for thyroid problems because it runs in the family, but thankfully the results came back negative.
I don’t know what to do or how to feel, other than worthless. Last time I saw my doctor, the first thing that came out of his mouth was “Congratulations! You qualify for gastric sleeve surgery.” Broke my heart and motivated me to start taking my health seriously.
I’m completely devastated. I don’t want to be morbidly obese anymore. It’s humiliating. A friend took a pic of me wearing an orange sweater and I fucking looked like a pumpkin. I’ve never weighed this much and knowing that I’ve been working out for FIVE MONTHS and haven’t even lost 10 pounds makes me feel like I’m going insane.
Some words of motivation, constructive criticism, or anything really would help. I feel so lost… thank you for reading my ramblings
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