Thursday, August 4, 2022

Feeling discouraged

Background: I’m 5’ 4”, weighed around 178 in October. Now I weigh in around 165-170. My bf is keto and goes to the gym almost everyday.

Since Covid I gained about 20-30 lbs. I’ve lost 10 lbs since last October (not a lot but I was happy about it) and just recently in the last few months/weeks really started to come up with a plan to lose weight and implement healthier habits in my life. I’ve been reducing my carbs, intuitively eating more, skipping out on the unhealthier options/moderating, and doing hot yoga at least twice a week.

Every time I’ve just tried to go super hard in the past regarding exercising or eating, I burnout pretty quickly and lose motivation. So this time I’ve been trying to slowly build healthier habits and just make it a part of my life.

Last night my boyfriend made a few comments and now I’m just feeling really discouraged about my whole healthier journey in general. Here’s the gist of what he said:

  • he said I should get really strict with my diet and cut out carbs and he made this comment: “I know you love your carbs” (he’s keto). This comment was really hurtful to me and now I feel gross for eating any carbs.
  • he said I should go to the gym every day for 8 weeks with his trainer. I like hot yoga. It feels great for me and I’ve never been someone to go to the gym consistently and I finally found something that I like to consistently do and felt like I was seeing results and stronger.
  • he said that he wants me to be able to look in the mirror and love my body and feel great about my body… well I already DO think that? And I told him that. This was very hurtful.
  • ALSO — this conversation started because he was showing me his favorite picture of me and trying to be sweet telling me that he looks at it every day (it’s from 8 years ago…) and then I said “you think I was prettier back then than I am now???” And then he started the convo about weight like a few minutes later.

For the record I am a very pretty girl IMO and fortunately carry my weight in all the best places.

I know he just wants me to be as healthy as possible but like now I just feel bummed and sad about my weight loss journey whereas before I was excited and motivated. I also don’t feel very sexy. He’s told me he loves my curves and my body but I know he would prefer me to be skinnier.

In the moment I got visibly bothered but didn’t fight with him about it or argue. I just said that I would be down to do the gym everyday and he said he would help me out by paying for a trainer.

Edit: might be worth mentioning that I haven’t discussed my desire, plans, or feelings about wanting to lose weight with him at all.

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