gained all my weight back and more

22F 6”0 currently at 300lb the heaviest i’ve been in my life.

I would like some help restarting weigh loss for someone who is extremely discouraged. I have tried the keto diet and it worked really well for me but I am struggling to get back on it. It was good for me to be restricted from eating certain foods because if I have access to them it’s all I will eat.

Here is my backstory

Before covid, I was 280lb. I started the keto diet as recommended by my doctor for about 5 months and got down to 220lb (the lowest i’ve been since I was probably 14) I was losing weight consistently, felt amazing had super high energy and was the happiest and healthiest i’ve ever been.

I’ve been overweight my entire life, have had severe depression since childhood and used food as a coping mechanism. I am diagnosed with PCOS as well as ADHD so i have an extremely hard time taking care of myself.

My biggest struggle getting back into weight loss is that i’m really struggling to find foods that I enjoy. I used to eat salad every day which I loved before but now i feel sick at the thought of it. Not just salads per say but every food I used to eat before losing weight. I don’t like a lot of meats and also don’t eat much dairy. food delivery is hurting my body as well as costing me so much financially. but it’s what i’ve been living off of since early 2020

i want to start again but feel so discouraged. I’m so upset and frustrated with myself and I can’t even look at myself in the mirror or look at photos of myself anymore. Before I lost weight originally I felt like this and now it feels even worse. My self esteem is completely ruined. I see other girls my age and wish I could look like them. I feel like a giant ogre

I moved to a new town during covid as well. I do not keep in contact with my family or have any friends as a support system, I don’t have a doctor anymore and am on a 5+ year wait list to get one. I’ve seen some online doctors but they are pretty useless. I’m in quite a rural place so I don’t have access to a weight loss clinic

I know I can do it as i’ve done it before. I know how to lose weight and I know that i’m high risk for so many health problems. I should be worrying about others things navigating through my 20s, but I feel i’m wasting my life away not being able to get through this. I work a 9-5 job that has been my best job i’ve ever had but i’ve even considered quitting just so I can focus on my weight loss. I know that isn’t realistic though

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