I just decided, but this has been a long time coming. Also mobile so formatting, sorry. TL;DR at bottom
As a kid I'd always been overweight, but once I got diagnosed clinically depressed in 5th grade I started going from overweight to morbidly obese. I hit my max weight in sophomore year of high school; I was 5'4", and 257 pounds. But I was just, too depressed to do anything about it. And at that point I knew I was fat but I really didn't know just how fat I was. All I knew was that I couldn't stand seeing myself in mirrors or pictures.
But senior year came around and I suddenly was doing so much better. I lost about 25 pounds without even realizing it, and for the first time in my life I was consistently happy.
Then I graduated, went to university, did my first year uneventfully, it was meh. But then the beginning of sophomore year, I decided I really wanted a relationship, so I started to put serious effort into weight loss. That semester, I was feeling great, I had a ton of friends, I loved my classes, and over the course of about 5 months, I lost 50 pounds.
But then second semester came around and something kinda changed. The friends that I spent all my time with had either transferred out, graduated, or found relationships that were keeping them frustratingly busy. The classes I loved were replaced by classes I hate. And, being from So-Cal having gone to a Pacific Northwest school, the weather started bringing me down a lot more than it ever had before. And I got really, really depressed. I developed a self-harm problem, something I had never done before. I was incredibly suicidal. It also didn't help that somebody decided to recommend Bojack Horseman to me right around then. (Amazing show unless you're depressed)
Halfway through the semester, I medically withdrew from school and went back home.
That was a bit over a year ago. At first it was pretty easy to maintain the weight loss but over time I kept getting worse, and food has always been my number one unhealthy coping mechanism. Eventually, I gained back half the weight I lost.
But a couple months ago I, once again, started doing way better. I was taking classes that I loved, was on a new anti-depressant that was working, and was feeling happy and stable again. So I decided to keep losing weight.
As of today I have re-lost about 14 pounds, and at 189 I am 6 pounds away from the lowest weight I maintained while at school. And I realized, why not give myself something I've always wanted. I've got 80 days till my 21st and I'm gonna do it. And I'm kinda excited.
TL;DR: Obese as a kid, lost a bunch of weight at University, gained half back at home when I dropped out cause depressed, and now feeling healthy enough to lose more weight.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2XYtVPj
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