Since I was really young my mom would always make food and eating an unhealthy relationship. They would let me try these crash diets that never worked, never talked to me about confidence. and honestly played on my insecurities as motivation for me, or even worse they would use comparison as a weapon.
Whenever I got a stomach flu, or when I got braces she act like I told her good news and she would say something like, "you'll probably lose a few pounds". Lately these flash backs have really been messing with me. I really resent the people back at home. Especially now since I've had a very big recent weight gain and it's their funny looks and comments all over again. I just want to let them all have it,
I remember telling my mom how people act towards me not too long ago and she was like, "well it sounds like ur still angry, you shouldn't be mad. and you did gain a lot of weight and ppl don't know how to react".
I would think not an asshole. but I can't expect anything different from ppl I grew up with. I do not like them.
I've definitely been struggling with self worthlessness lately and I never want to go out and be seen. I even thought about vlogging my "weight loss journey" (I hate saying that now)... but the thought of ppl I know seeing me haunts me
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2YPzQmQ
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