Look, I tried. I really tried. I lost weight and kept it off for a year now. I got into lifting. I tried to build strength and I tried to build skills, I tried to be positive about it and tell myself that I'm learning so much and that I'm becoming stronger, fitter. But I don't feel fitter and I don't feel stronger. I feel like sh*t and if I'm honest, on the inside I'm still convinced that I hate exercise and that I'm a joke for trying to convince myself otherwise. People always say that it comes with time, that you'll start to think differently about yourself once you've built up a habit of exercise. But I feel that this is not true for me. I feel like I still think about myself exactly the same as when I was seriously overweight. Sometimes I wonder what the point of all of this was, if I'm still the same miserable, lazy person on the inside.
I want to build an identity as a fit person but I just can't believe myself. In my head, I'll always be the fat kid who takes any opportunity to skip gym class. I don't really know what to do anymore. I thought about ditching lifting for a while, given that I haven't really made much strength progress in the past few months. But I just think that lifting weights is cool and that being strong is something I aspire to. I don't want to quit it. Also, I'm afraid that whatever I'll do exercise-wise, this image of myself as lazy and unfit will come up and I'll get miserable.
I feel like I've dug myself into a hole mentally and I need to reset my relationship with exercise. I'm afraid I always think of myself as lazy and unfit. Does anyone have any recommendations?
Sorry if this came across as very rambly and has little to do with weight loss. I thought some of you might have experience with struggling to become fit after being "the fat kid".
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/bZfSLlm
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