Im a 5’8, 30 year old man. I was 210 lbs at the beginning of the year and have been at 187-190 lbs for the past 5 months. I’m going to lose 25 lbs. my goal weight is 165, an ideal weight for a guy my height with a larger frame. I’m writing this because I’ve had a bad week binge eating. It’s a habit I’ve picked up as a way of trying to fill the emptiness I feel when I quit drinking and as an attempt at escaping frustrations and loneliness. It has caused difficulties with weight gain over the past 10 years since I first tried getting sober. My heaviest was 230lbs. I’ve gotten down to 170 and back up to 220-230 on two separate occasions over the past 10 years due to setbacks, alcoholism and binge eating.
I’ve been trying the recomp instead of focusing on losing weight, but I now think it’d be easier to get to a lighter weight first and then focus on strength. I’ve had many reconstructive surgeries from sports injuries (all to my left knee, tibia and foot), osteoarthritis in my left knee that flairs up if overused (and when my diet is bad) and general aches and pains from weaknesses/imbalances. There’s a lot of physical activities I want to do very much that I can’t currently do, which frustrates me and makes me sad.
I’ve been only doing calisthenics because I need to improve my in range of motion and body control before I could consistently lift weights. I also walk and kayak, and I do a lot of yoga. Over the years I’ve learned what I need to do to reach my physical goals. Any physical activity requires about an hour of warmup stretching beforehand to warm up my joints and facilitate better form. I also have to avoid pushing myself too far. This is also frustrating.
I was afraid of focusing more on weight loss because I didn’t want to lose muscle, but I now know that getting to a lighter weight will be easier on my body/ joints and make all activities easier/ less painful, and progress would be faster. So I’m going to keep up with my calisthenics routine, and incorporate steady state cardio and interval cardio on the elliptical machine.
Outside of binge eating episodes, I’ve been eating at around 2,000 to 2,150 calories, which is a sleight deficit when factoring in my activity. I probably undo the weight loss progress I make from binge eating episodes that occur every3-4 week. I plan to drop slightly to a hard 1,950 daily intake. I use my fitness pale to track calories. My binge eating isn’t from over restricting calories, but from me trying to seek comfort in the same way I would from alcohol. It’s addict behavior. I have been getting slowly stronger, but the aches and pains I deal with every day are discouraging.
I’m really going to focus on the weight loss process and not give into frustration, and hopefully the pain relief I get from weight loss can help keep me motivated. The elliptical is so boring, but it’s the easiest on my joints and it allows my to exert more effort than probably any other form of exercise.
I’m ending this binge eating episode now. Tomorrow I’ll eat right and go for a short walk and stretch to give my body a day to quell the Inflammation from all the sugar I’ve been eating. Monday I’ll start my cardio routine and keep up with calisthenics and yoga. I figure I’ll have to adjust my calorie intake every 5lbs lost or so. I don’t expect to make much strength progress at this time, but hope to be 165lbs in 3 to 4 months, and then adjust to maintenance and focus on furthering my strength and athleticism with calisthenics and yoga with less pain and frustration.
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