I didn’t realize until 2020 I had anxiety and depression. By then I had tricked myself into believing my love for food came from social activities with friends and family. I figured out I had a food dependency when I caught myself eating a lunch I had bought in the car in hopes to eat alone and not have to talk/share with my aunt after a stressful.
I started a health journey on and off and was able to lose 10 lbs before hitting a plateau back in 2022-23. I was at my heaviest at 197 lbs this year after working from home and slipping into a really bad depression. I just started to take care of myself again. I’m eating healthier as a start. I’m trying to incorporate more exercise but find myself in fear of exerting myself too much. My family teases I’m a hypochondriac but I don’t have the money or insurance to see a medical professional to tell me I am or am not the things I think I am. I start a new job with decent benefits at the end of the month and need to wait an entire month for insurance to kick in afterwards.
I feel like my 10lbs weight loss this far is being overshadowed by the anger and anxiety I have for allowing myself to get this big and unhealthy, and for having only now caring about the repercussions that I’m anxious about. It sucks because depression took me out at the worst when I went fully remote, and I didn’t know how to tell anyone. I stopped bathing daily. When I could sleep, I would. I’d stopped walking on my walk pad, I overate, or didn’t eat much. I stopped brushing my teeth daily even. I hated myself. But the part of me that loves me a little is fighting to continue the weight loss through the health anxiety.
I’m just praying and hoping I continue to do this for me, and I stop falling into letting depression and anxiety take over.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I hope everyone success and more in the weight loss journey we’re on.
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