Hello folks. Long time lurker. First time poster here. Since last year, I have lost 15kg (33 pounds) and now I'm currently 5kg (11 lbs) away from my goal weight and I'm starting to feel ....what's the point of all these effort in losing the weight.
From young, I have always put off many things because of my weight. Small things like clothes, I just didnt feel like I deserve it. I guess it's like I'm waiting to become a different magical skinny unbothered queen before I can be happy.
I thought that once I lost the weight, I could transform into That Girl, beautiful, productive and....happy.
Instead, I'm still very much just me. Losing the weight did not make me beautiful, productive or...happy. I used to be able to dream that once I lose the weight I would be happy. But now my hopes are dashed because I know the truth now. I'm never going to be the swan in ugly duckling. Just one of the ducklings with a little less weight.
I'm mourning the loss of my old body, being able to look down at my boobs used to make me feel a little better about being overweight. Hey at least I've got these girls.
I'm mourning being able to eat whatever I like and not think whelp there goes my calorie limit. Eating is my source of endorphins, and limiting that has been really tough.
I'm mourning the girl I'm never going to be. The girl who wakes up at 5am, does pilates, meditate, exercises, eats healthy and be happy.
I went into weight loss with shallow reasons and I'm losing my motivation...
Yes walking and running feels easier, almost effortless. Yes finding clothes is so much easier. There is a myraid of benefits weight loss has given me but it has not fulfilled me.
At this point if you are still reading my shallow rambles, thank you. I don't want to discourage anyone from their journey. I hope that your journey would be a positive one.
Ps. Apologies if the formatting is weird as I'm on mobile
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/NtQubfH
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