Starting out and overcoming social anxiety surrounding exercise?
Hey everyone, I’m Tom. I’m 22 years old, 6’1” and started out just shy of 240lbs (although I didn’t weigh myself properly at the time, so I was probably closer to 235). It’s my first time posting here after a little while of watching weight loss YouTube vids/reading Reddit comments etc. I’ve always had a super sweet tooth, and have had a pretty crappy diet most of my life. I also pretty much just eat whatever feelings I have, which ends up being a downward spiral of self-loathing. There’s a number of mental health-y factors that contribute towards this (ADHD, anxiety, depression etc), but I also feel like it feeds back into itself making me feel worse. I came to the realisation that I often binge ate, and am currently trying to improve my relationship towards food. I’d head out to the shops with no real need to buy anything, but I’d buy whatever nice food I wanted, telling myself I’d save it for the whole week, but end up eating it all in one sitting. Repeat that daily/every other day for the last 2/3 years. I’ve got fairly bad social anxiety, and so missed a lot of classes over the past few years, but seeing as it’s my last semester and I can’t really afford to miss that much I’m trying to improve a bit.
I lost about 45/50lbs at the beginning of 2017 by just counting/limiting calories, however didn’t incorporate any exercise at all, and after starting University and not really caring about what I was eating I’ve put it all back on again (plus a few lbs!) I have had a few different gym memberships over the last couple of years, but always get quite intimidated and end up having a bit of a panic, so then give up after a couple of days. I’ve started tracking calories again and have completely given up eating ‘crap’ sweet things for the time being (sweets, chocolate etc), and it’s seeming to go okay. I’m a bit weird in that I can go cold turkey when I want to (gave up smoking cold turkey earlier this year too). It’s my birthday in a couple of days and I’ve asked my flatmate to get me some kitchen scales which should help remove any guesswork (I’m crap at guessing how much stuff weighs - I’ll usually either cook 4x too much spaghetti or enough for half a portion!!!) So far through the exercise/calorie tracking I’m down around 10/11lbs so I’m pretty proud, however obviously I didn’t properly weigh myself right at the beginning, so it’s probably closer to 6/7lbs.
I started a couch to 5k thing a couple weeks ago and progress is going alright. I’m on week 3 so the running periods are getting longer, but I’m finding myself able to do more than I had expected. To begin with I started running just after the sun set so it was still light enough to see, but not bright enough for people to see my chubby red face huffing and puffing along. I also got a pair of wireless sound cancelling headphones which I feel kinda gives me my own little bubble to focus on, so I sort of ignore the outside world (don’t worry I’m not running where there are any cars or there’s any risk to myself or others). I’ve run during the day a few times, which is really good for building my confidence. Coincidentally, I went for a run this morning on my ‘regular’ running route there was a 5k/10k planned (which I hadn’t realised) so I found myself with a load of other people running (although I managed to time it so I was running the opposite direction to them). I was pretty proud of myself for not just turning around and going home, because 3 weeks ago I would have done exactly that. This afternoon I booked myself on to do that 5k, but in May, so now I have a deadline to work towards, as well as a 5 mile mud run I had already booked to do with my brother and dad in October. I’ve also signed up for a gym that is opening up at the end of my road, however I’m still a little bit anxious, as I’m not a huge fan of gyms as mentioned before.
Sorry for the long post, ended up being way longer than I had anticipated lol. I’m wondering if anybody has any tips for not being so anxious about exercising in front of other people (in the gym or running), and also how to sustain the progress that I’m seeing so far? Im not so fussed about the actual number on the scale, as I’m aiming to also put on some muscle after I’ve lost some of the weight, but I guess I’m just asking for any tips on keeping the progress going?
Good luck to everyone on each of your weight loss journeys and thanks for taking the time to read this :)
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