Being Sexually Harassed and Cat Called Is Preventing Me From Losing Weight

I realize I have this problem.

From age 10-18, I was obese. At age 18, I lost half my body weight. I went from 300 pounds to 150 pounds.

Once I reached 150 pounds/size 7 from a size 18/20, I blossomed looks wise. This caused LOTS of unwanted sexual attention and made me very uncomfortable. At the height of my weight loss, I experienced:

• Being followed home from work by a customer from my grocery store
• Being cat called on the streets repeatedly
• Having a guy get out of his car and proposition me for sex while I waited for a bus
• Having men openly ask me for sex
• Having ride share drivers ask if I had a boyfriend
• Being harassed at work by coworkers and customers
• Having sexual remarks made to me on a regular
• Having other women act jealous of me because I was getting attention from men
• Getting out of my car and being cat called and followed into a store
• Being approached at a bus stop by a random man who was driving and being asked if I had a man and wanted to take a ride with him
• Having guys honk the horn at me while I walked down the street
• Having a man reach into his pants and grab his dick and massage it while walking toward me
• Having women hit on me and one time a woman cornered me in a bathroom

I never experienced any of this prior to weight loss. Before I lost weight, I was invisible and safe. I have gained an unhealthy amount of my weight back over the last few years. I feel that on a subconscious level, I don't want to lose the weight again because I don't want all the unwanted sexual attention. I can't handle it. At the same time, I not only want to look good but be healthy. Some of my weight gain has been due to medication but i'm about to wean off that medicine soon and am wanting to start a new weight loss journey. The issue is I realize I have this mental blockage.

How can I overcome my feelings and shame? I feel that if I get back in shape, i'll put myself in danger and will invite unwanted attention but I can't walk around being unhealthy. I also don't want to wear a trench coat everywhere. I dress modest but still attract lots of unwanted sexual attention when i'm at a low weight and that scares me. What should I do?

submitted by /u/XTremelyTiredofHR
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