I am morbidly obese

I am morbidly obese, I have no shame in that, I'm not hiding it. I am 87 kg and 1.70, that's down from 104 kg in May. I know it's not nearly as much as some people, and I can't talk for them and their struggle, but I still talk for myself

I love myself, I am proud of myself, I don't think I'm ugly, I love my body, I enjoy every moment with it. every scar I got I cherish as a reminder of what I went through and my body helped me with

I don't stare down the scale every night with tears

the fact that I love myself and my body, doesn't mean I don't want to better myself. I want to take care of myself and give the body that went through so much for me, the treatment it deserves

I don't like waking up every morning, struggling to get out of the bed because I lack energy. I don't like struggling climbing 3 floors to get to work every morning. and I definitely don't like the idea of being afraid of heart attacks every day when I reach 40

that's why I decided to start working out, and changed my eating habits for good. not because I hate myself, but because I want to keep what I was fortunate enough to be given

in my weight loss journey, I learned to love food, and not only rich dense food that fill my mouth with sensation. but also the little things, to enjoy discovering the tingle of sweetness in a ripe spinach, the simple tenderness of an olive oil fried chicken breast. the little nuance. I learned not every food has to be a sensory celebration to have fun with it

I also learned to enjoy the struggle of a sore muscle, to push myself to the very end where it hurt. to collapse to the floor after a set, knowing full well I didn't give up, and gave EVERYTHING I had.

I love myself, and I want to enjoy loving myself while being healthy. there is nothing stopping me from having both, but my own will

if you're struggling with weight, there's nothing wrong with you. not everyone has the ability to make sudden and drastic changes to their lifestyle

each and every one of you has their own preferences, priorities, struggles and coping mechanisms. I'm not in your shoes, I don't know what you've been through, and I can't judge you

I respect you, and proud of you, no matter how much you weigh, or whatever else you have hard time with in life

the sum of a person doesn't end by the number on his scale. there is so much more to a person than how fat he is. and there are plenty more reasons to be proud of yourself, and patting yourself on the back saying "you're a good person"

if you want to give a chance to better yourself physically, by all mean, I support you and encourage you. the path of self discovery is long and branching. you can never learn about yourself if you don't give a chance

but that doesn't take away from you, doesn't make you less of a person. nobody should be ashamed of who they are

that was a little off-my-chest, thank you for reading!

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