I think I have just gotten stuck in this mindset ever since gaining weight that I can just pretend it never happened and lose it before anyone notices. (cut to ten years later) It’s so embarrassing for me. I admire heavier people who are able to openly talk about weight loss efforts or make jokes about being heavier. But for me if it is recognized in conversation I feel humiliated and want to go hide and cry. I know that it’s plain to others and I’m not hiding anything. I don’t want to talk about it with friends and family but I had a recent conversation where my dad (who has also lost a lot of weight) said I had a few extra pounds but still seemed healthy and now I’m spiraling in low self esteem and sadness. I don’t think he was being particularly rude and I wish I could just respond in my heart with, “yeah that’s true… I’m trying to lose weight and it’s a struggle.” But again, feelings of humiliation, sadness, self loathing. Can anyone relate? I just want to quietly lose the weight on my own and never have to discuss it with anyone on any level…
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