Stick with it - A tale of highs, lows, and encouragement

The origins
I was overweight since puberty and obese since 2018. My parents are both overweight and also didn't cook, battling their own depression issues. I'm in my late 20s female 5'2 and no longer have an excuse for unhealthy eating now that I'm living on my own and can afford groceries reasonably.

January 2020 - 200 Pounds - The spark to change
On January 1, 2020 I weighed 200 pounds. I went to the ER in late 2019 for something that turned out to be harmless. I followed up with a primary care doctor, and I could 100% tell that my weight impacted her treatment plan. She barely checked me out and the entire visit revolved around exercise tips. That is in no way what I needed. Both for my health and for fear that if I needed medical attention in the future I would receive subpar care, I embarked on a weight loss journey.

First Attempts in 2020: 200 -> 180
I lost 20 pounds to get to 180 relatively quickly by cutting out some of the junk food and focusing on eating healthier overall. I introduced more veggies and I did CICO maybe a few times a week, but not consistently. The pandemic hit and only motivated me more, but I just wasn't losing the weight. I plateaued in April - August after that initial 20lb drop and got frustrated, deciding to put my weight loss journey on hold. It was my own fault for not being consistent in my calorie counting.

Short ladies section: Counting is a necessity for everyone, but particularly true for short women where 200 calories more than the safe min of 1200 can actually mean you gain weight. People don't realize how little food 1200 cal can be without volume eating and I didn't know any of that yet. That burger and fries can be double your daily allotment, whereas other dieters fit that in as a once a month indulgence. It just isn't possible for you. That doesn't mean you can't indulge but you have to make it even less frequent and make the more weekly indulgences fit within the low calorie limits. Take in all of the advice but then ask--will this work for my body and my lifestyle in particular?

2021 - 180 -> 155 Pounds (and then back up to 165)- Doing it for real this time
After all my research I threw myself back into weight loss efforts. In 2021 I lost another 25 pounds and got to 155. This time I did CICO every single day and stuck to it. I exercised 2-5 times a week. I was doing amazingly until I decided to switch jobs and move towards the end of the year. That lead to 6AM - 11:30 PM workdays every single day for a month and packing constantly. For weeks I ate whatever I wanted. I did no calorie counting and had takeout multiple times a week. I gained 10 pounds--not the end of the world, but I do regret my approach. I'd probably be a healthy weight by now if I had stuck with it. I made a plan for future stressful times.

HOME STRETCH NOW! (starting October 2021)
I moved a few months ago. I work at max 8 hours a day now, which makes my usually stoic self sob with joy sometimes. My life is my own now, and I no longer work around the clock with meager salary to show for it. With that major life improvement, I restarted my diet and fitness journey. I am no longer eating 1200 cal every single day because that takes a toll, but I eat that 4-5 times a week. I do look forward to bumping that up, but given I'm so used to volume eating I imagine I'll still eat 1200 cal 1-2 times a week in the future with no special efforts. I'm down to 145 pounds today, almost out of the overweight category, and I can't even believe it. After reaching normal BMI I am going to switch to trying to lose 1 pound a week rather than 2 until about 120 lbs and I look forward to this more moderate pace.

Lessons learned so far:
There are days when I can't tell a difference when I look in the mirror. There are days where I say hmm, I think my face slimmed down a bit. I think my arm looks a little more toned. Nobody has noticed or said anything and some days I hate how I look. But overall, I feel *mentally* better about how I look. Here is why:

1. I know I'm making gains in my health. The science doesn't lie.
2. EVERYONE has aspects about their body they dislike. Almost every single human. People will love their haircut one moment and hate it the next, so it's not unique to us on this weight loss journey. Yesterday at 12PM I saw my flabby arms and thought "god, I regret ruining my body like this. I have stretch marks literally everywhere." A mere 3 hours later I was standing at the same position in front of the mirror in a different top and said damn, I've absolutely lost fat here, here, and here. It was a more revealing top. I can actually see the definition in my muscles now. It made me smile, same exact lighting and a difference of a mere 3 hours. And then I was on a video chat with super pretty girl and felt like garbage again. Usually I'm much more mellow and this happened to be a day of ups and downs, but it demonstrates how random it can be. Focus on your health. That's really what matters.
3. No, I don't feel better. When I tell people about my weight loss, that's what they ask ---"Oh, that's amazing progress, do you feel better now?" I want to say "No you f**** a******, I felt good when I was eating Pizza. I felt good when I ate unhealthily. That is why I did so. Do not expect that you will magically feel better because that is not everyone's experience. However, I do feel good! You need to get past the sugar cravings. If you have a sweet tooth that is half the battle. Give it 3-5 days without sugar and you're past the worst. I also know I'll do the crazy unhealthy eating days I loved again in a strict and controlled way. It's not a "never" thing, but I'm only going to do so 1-2 times a year max. Every time I want that cheeseburger I know I can truthfully say "another time" instead of no, never in your life can you half this half a pizza and then ice cream. Now it's "save it for your birthday" and I focus on the health and $$$ benefits that come from preparing my own food. Half the time I don't even want the treats I promised myself on X day.
4. You are your own worst critic. If you are healthily losing weight, there is a difference, even if you don't notice it. If you are not yet at a healthy weight you should continue to lose weight, but it doesn't mean you're ugly! I am 100000 percent positive. You are beautiful even with the extra 20-30 pounds. How do I know? I looked at the progress pics for everyone else! I see girls above a normal weight that I genuinely think are gorgeous and guys that I think are hot. I can always see the difference in the pics, even if it's subtle. You aren't the only person in the world whose body is not changing. Get over yourself ;P Just keep on on keeping on. I didn't always know better or was in a position to control my weight, but I am now. I try not to beat myself up for the past. We only get one life and I don't want to spend it in regret. I want to build the best life for myself as possible.
5. I've lost 55 pounds and am still in the exact same clothes sizes... stuff fits looser, but I haven't needed a new wardrobe at all. I'm really hoping for this "paper towel theory" to happen but know that even if I don't achieve the image I have in my head, I look fine (for note #4 reason above). I'll note that I started lifting weights, but it's under 20 pounds and I doubt has had a large impact.
   

Life is good now so it's been easier to eat well. For the stressful times? I've been there, and know what happened. I resolved to do better. I had a truly dismal weekend in Jan but it went great eating wise. The plan:

1. Bump up calories to the max maintenance you can. This is "do what you can" mode. Try at least a few times a week to eat below the maintenance. If I can "only" eat at maintenance, that's perfectly OK. When I say maintenance I mean goal weight maintenance. Don't go eating 2000 cal if that's your hundreds of cals above what will be your end point maintenance.
2. If I have $$$$---takeout salads all week. Careful with the dressing and bread.
3. If I don't have $ or haven't hit recent saving goals ---give myself a timer. Cook as much as I can for one hour on Sun and no more than one hour. Clean for 10 min after. Reheat during the week. Listen to music or podcasts, or watch a tv show on our phone in background if you dislike cooking (Which I sure do).
4. If I'm unable to complete steps 2 or 3, grab from a pantry to do something easy that is within calorie allowance. Eat a whole cauliflower pizza(check the cals--you can eat the whole thing if you OMAD!). Dump out an entire can of chilli and entire bag of frozen veggies. Have an egg with beans and siracha.
   

I know it's a bit premature to be taking this victory lap because I have ~10 pounds to go until I'm in normal BMI zone, but I'm proud of myself. I've had zero cheat days since October 2021 to now, and rarely have that ravenous desire to cheat anymore. (remember, you can still take the crazy day 1-2 times a year!) I was able to lose a lot of weight, and I trust the science to know that makes me healthier, even though I truthfully feel the same. I read labels now for goodness sake. If I can do it, you sure as hell can. I knew nothing about what healthy food was until 2020. Anyone can do it. Gogogo!

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