I (25F) have always struggled with my weight, during quarantine I lost quite a lot with keto. I was really proud of myself until I went to my pcp and she was unimpressed, and made me feel like I had made no progress.
After that I just didn't stick to keto. Here we are 2 years later and I have gain 130 pounds from my lowest on keto. The highest I have ever been by about 80 pounds. For the first time in my life, I feel truly ashamed of myself and my body. For the first time I do not feel confident in how I look, how my clothes fit, how much activity I can actually participate in.
I decided enough was enough, I started going to a weight loss doctor. Things were going well(ish) for the first month, then I fell off the wagon and gained 20 pounds before going back again (the 20 is included in the 130). I was scared and really anxious to go back. But she was understanding, we regrouped and I was ready to start again. Since then I haven't been doing the best, but I've been making progress, I've been fasting, eating less, exercising a ton, and I've actually lost weight.
I went in to my pcp and she told me how much weight I had gained since I last saw her (quite a lot) and decided the best thing was to remind me how much I was at my lowest on keto and how much I've gained. I cried for the rest of the day. I know she's just trying to help and encourage me, but it just stung.
But I'm so tired of feeling weak, lazy, and I'm just becoming disgusted with myself. I want to shame eat and I just feel so many negative feelings, I can't even identify them all. I want to just starve until I'm nothing, eat until I die at 30, and just sit and wallow, all at once.
But I'm not going to do any of that. I am going to raise my head, stick with the food plan the weight loss doctor gave me, and keep exercising. It's not going to be easy, but I am so fucking tired of crying everytime I go to the doctors.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/rUywQeO
No comments:
Post a Comment